


and someday we'll face the music (God, it hurts to be human)

by Little_Lady_Otaku



Category: Weak Hero (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sense8 (TV) Fusion, Bad Parenting, Childhood Trauma, Cinderella Elements, Consensual Underage Sex, Corporate Espionage, Don't Have to Know Sense8 Canon, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Inspired By Sense8, Jack Kang is so done with everything, Jimmy courts like a rooster, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychic Bond, Theft, There will be sexy times ahead, This is Sense8, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26299408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Lady_Otaku/pseuds/Little_Lady_Otaku
Summary: Jimmy Bae do not lead the most ordinary life. It's true. He is at the top of his school's hierarchy. He and his best friend are part of what is essentially a high school mafia. It's true. Desperate for recognition, hungry for glory, marked by betrayal, Jimmy is more than eager to prove himself. He knows exactly the sort of person he is and makes no attempt to hide it from the world. It's true. Jimmy is seventeen.Goeun On leads an ordinary life. It's true. They know her as the eldest daughter, another classmate, a pretty girl who walk past you on the streets. It’s true. Fueled by duty, taught with fear, full of lies, Goeun is willing to do anything to survive. No one knows who she truly is and she intends to keep it that way. It’s true. Goeun is seventeen.In which two complete strangers discover that they are no longer alone inside their heads.They are only seventeen.
Relationships: Jimmy Bae/Original Female Character
Comments: 29
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Weak Hero or Sense8
> 
> Title is taken from Hurts 2B Human by Pink
> 
> Warnings: typos, grammatical errors 
> 
> If you do not like Canon Character x Original Character pairing, please turn back now.

When Jimmy said that his head felt like it's about to explode, he meant it.

It’s not just the matter of his loss to Ben Park or Donald fucking Na. His head has been killing him long before Yuseon launches an attack toward Eunjang. The migraine was manageable at first, then as days went by, it kept worsening. Jimmy had taken aspirins, cut down smoking, drank mineral water and even went to bed before 9 pm, which he had never done since elementary. Nothing worked. Jimmy initially believes that the constant headache is caused by the stress from being Yooson’s leader. Except he did not feel stressed at all. No more than usual anyways. 

If he had to pinpoint the exact time his headache started, Jimmy will say that one night during school break. Right before the new school year starts. 

He had been sleeping soundly in his bed when Jimmy suddenly jerked awake. Then it got _really_ bizarre. Standing right next to his bed is a person Jimmy never seen before in his life. The lack of lighting combined with his own groggy mind made it impossible for Jimmy to clearly make out this stranger in his bedroom. Normally, Jimmy’s first instinct would be to punch the lights out of whoever this fucker is. Yet he remains calm. As calm as you can be when in this kind of situation. The mysterious figure smiled at him (or so Jimmy thought. He definitely saw teeth.) before they disappeared into thin air. Jimmy stared at their spot for a few seconds, then scrambled for his phone so he could turn on the flashlight. He didn’t dare to look behind him until he found the light switch. Jimmy braced himself for another confrontation as he turned on the switch, only to find himself completely alone. Suffice to stay he didn’t get much sleep that night.

Had nothing else happened after that, Jimmy will simply brush it off as one weirdass dream, but the headache won’t go away. And even more stranger things begin to occur. 

It started out benign at first. Jimmy has a craving for something sweet one day when he usually detest the stuff. A few days later Jimmy was at the gas station when he heard the sound of sewing machines of all things. One day at home when Jimmy empty his pockets he couldn’t find his lip balm… Then remember that he never owned one in the first place. The sound of the sewing machine continued for days. It’s not constant, but Jimmy always hears it at nighttime. He tried to drown the mechanical noise by blasting music with higher volume than usual. Suffice to say he didn’t get enough rest with all these noises. He does hear other things, such as odd beeping noises but only occasionally. 

It only got worse from there.

Jimmy was riding his motorcycle down the road when cold water splashed all over him. He was so caught off guard that he nearly lost his balance. Thankfully he recovered just in time before he crashed into anything. Jimmy was _so_ ready to blow his lid when he noticed that he was perfectly dry. There are no overpasses above him or any other high structures where someone can throw shit from above. Not a speck of cloud in the sky. 

Days later, Jimmy was woken up at the ungodly hour of four am by the sound of his alarm. What made it odd is that Jimmy never set up the alarm in the first place. His phone screen did not lit up with the alarm notification. The noise was all in his head. How did he know this? Jimmy heard the sound for a good 10 seconds while he was staring down at his phone. And then… Nothing. 

Last week, Jihoon was getting a drink in the kitchen when he started crying all of the sudden. Thank God he was the only one home when this happened. Jimmy quickly wiped them but the tears won’t stop. It took about an hour before the wetness on his cheeks finally dried. Jimmy simply laid on his bed the entire time. By the time it’s over, Jimmy is exhausted in more ways than one. 

The latest incident involved glass. It took place just yesterday actually. He was home at the time as well. Jimmy was holding a glass of water when this fierce rage crept up on him. He understands anger. There’s plenty of it inside of him. Hatred is not foreign to him as well. But this- _intensity_ \- come out of nowhere. He wasn’t even thinking about his nemesis Ben Park. Jimmy felt a painful lodge in his throat. An urge to scream. Resentment twisting inside his stomach like a snake. A pounding in his chest wanting to be released. Then he swallowed the anger away, forcing them down his throat even when it felt like someone was feeding him rancid meat. These emotions rolled off him like a wave and Jimmy suddenly felt lighter. Then he looked down on his hand and saw that he gripped the glass so hard it shattered. Jimmy miraculously only suffered a cut on a finger. Nothing a bandaid couldn’t fix. 

The only upside of this situation (if there is any at all) is that Jimmy didn’t get these weird experiences at school. That would tank his cred. Jimmy doesn’t need anymore hit to this reputation. 

Between sensing things that weren’t there or not feeling like himself, Jimmy has no idea which is worse.

* * *

The students have the good sense to keep their distance away from him once they realize that Jimmy is in a bad mood. Good. 

The only person Jimmy allowed to be near him is Jack Kang. Now, Jack is someone he doesn’t need to worry about. Jimmy knows that he won’t do or say anything stupid like ‘It will get better.’ No, Jack Kang knows better than that. 

The first half of school was a blur. The teacher’s droning is nothing more than background noise for Jimmy at the moment. He couldn’t concentrate at all. Donald Na had sent him a message this morning. _He knows._ It’s crazy how fast word of his defeat has spread. If Donald Na knows, it’s safe to say that the Union as a whole is aware as well. It’s only a matter of time. It was bad enough that people are already doubting him in the first place. Now that Jimmy has officially lost to Ben Park… They will openly criticize him. Jimmy is certain that Jack Kang can hear his blood boil. 

Jimmy sighs in annoyance when the school bell rings. The loud noise does little to alleviate his headache. Students start to leave to eat lunch or get fresh air. They walk out quietly. Jimmy saw from the corner of his eye that one is actually tip-toeing. He almost let out a snort at that. It helps, actually. This means they still take him seriously. 

Jack came up to his desk. “Wanna smoke?” He offers. 

“No,” Jimmy stands to his feet. “I need coffee.” 

Everyone gives him and Jack a wide berth when they see them coming. Even the upperclassmen. Jimmy’s short temper is common knowledge in Yoosun High. No one is foolish enough to draw his attention in his current state. Good. The last thing Jimmy needs right now is a mess in his own turf. 

Everyone emptied out the canteen when they spotted Jimmy and Jack at the entrance. Now they have the whole place to themselves. Jack Kang went to buy them drinks while Jimmy sat down. He takes out his phone and opens the latest message from Donald Na. 

Donald Na didn’t say much but the meaning is clear. Jimmy will be punished for his defeat. 

Myles Joo comes to mind. The guy was beaten to the inch of his life by Donald Na, followed by getting excommunicated from the Union. No one is allowed to contact Myles Joo afterward and vice versa. It happened only until recently. Is Donald Na actually willing to let go two of his top lieutenants consecutively in such a short time? It wasn’t too long ago that Myles Joo was dismissed. The beating, Jimmy can endure, but to lose his position…

Donald Na won’t allow any excuses, not that Jimmy wants to give him one. The snake hates it if any of them talk back. He will fight back though. Jimmy simply _refuses_ to go down quietly. 

He barely notices Jack Kang set the coffee down in front of him. Jack Kang got himself a can of Red Bull. The two of them sit in heavy silence. Occasionally other students will enter the canteen. They think twice about it the moment they saw Jimmy and Jack. 

Sadly, not everyone is blessed with an ounce of sense in their body.

Steve Nam announced himself out of nowhere. Jimmy saw his number two tailing behind him from the corner of his eye. No doubt that they come here to assess him. The nerves of them. Jimmy isn’t too surprised with this development. He had expected that someone will be dumb enough to pull this kind of stunt. Of course it would be Steve Nam. No surprise there. Steve Nam went on about how Jimmy’s loss made him look bad. It’s a weak attempt at posturing. Steve Nam may be the number one in his class but he is nowhere near Jimmy’s level. 

Jimmy doesn't even bother to look up from his phone. He is content to ignore the loser since he has more pressing issues to deal with. Jack, however, has a different idea. 

Jack stood up from his seat. His expression tells everything Jimmy needs to know. Jack is ready to beat the shit out of Steve Nam. 

While Jimmy is thankful for Jack standing up for him, this is the last thing they need right now. 

That didn’t stop him from coming to his friend’s defense. 

Jimmy throws a punch at Steve Nam while he is distracted. Steve Nam lost his balance and crashed against the chairs. 

“You, listen,” Jimmy growls while he walk up towards Steve Nam’s fallen figure, “I feel like my head is about to fucking explode right now with all I have in my plate now, okay?” His head has actually been killing him longer than that but these losers don't need to know about it. “If you really feel like things are so unfair, we can have another hierarchy battle. But don’t try me with this feel out shit… It doesn’t work.” 

“You son of a bitch-” 

Steve Nam made a move to get up. Too bad for him, Jimmy is faster. His knee meets Steve Nam’s chin. Blood got onto his pants. “You got blood on me, you lousy fuck.” Jimmy growls at the ugly bitch. Steve Nam can only cower under Jimmy’s glare. 

“It’s not over between me and Ben Park yet… So quit babbling with your ugly snout and wait.” 

Steve Nam makes a whine like noise at that. Jimmy shot him one last look of disgust before turning on his heels. Jack right behind him. 

Strangely enough, he feels calmer after that. Not necessarily better, but calmer nonetheless. Beating the shit out of people does have its therapeutic effects. 

The hallway is practically deserted. There is not even a shadow save for his and Jack’s. This peace won’t last, Jimmy knows. Better enjoy it while he still can.

“Oh,” Jack speaks up, “I was told that Helmet’s been running with Hyeongshin now. They saw him walking with Forrest Lee.” 

Helmet, that motherfucker. No wonder Jimmy hasn’t seen his ugly ass face lately. So the bastard is with Hyeongshin now, huh? Did he actually think he can escape from Jimmy by not showing up at school? Jimmy has not fallen low enough to go fetch Helmet himself though. 

“Let him be,” He told Jack. “It’s obvious why Hyeongshin is humoring that idiot anyway. They’re using him to get tedious, annoying shit done.” Even though he is kissing Forrest Lee’s ass now, Helmet won’t be able to raise his rank. He is no different than the other usual gophers now. He certainly couldn’t expect Jimmy to let him go unpunished when the time comes where he crawls back after Hyeongshin is done with him. What a sad, pathetic creature the boy named Harper Ha is.

They are content to let the silence be after that. Students who saw them coming immediately retreat to their classrooms. 

Jimmy looked out of the windows. The sun glare is intense today. His eyes sweep across the front school field. He noticed a lone figure walking across the grounds. _They are wearing a skirt._ Jimmy leans forward to get a better look. The sunlight gets into his eyes and he draws back. When he opens them again, the figure is gone. 

Jimmy blinks, shakes his head, and heads back inside. 

* * *

Nobody's home when he gets back, which is normal. 

Jimmy enters his bedroom fresh out of the shower. He dries his hair with a towel while holding his phone with his other hand. There is no need for him to keep reading Donald Na’s text. Not really. Yet he keeps doing it anyway. 

Jimmy hates this situation. He is essentially stuck, forced to wait for Donald Na to make a move. There is nothing else he can do but wait. The next assembly could be his last. Jimmy last saw Myles Joo in an assembly. Is the guy even still alive? 

If Jimmy does end up excommunicated from the Union, the leader spot will be filled by Jack Kang. Yoosoon at least will be in safe hands. There is no one Jimmy trusted more than Jack. Hyeongshin and Dahyeon have no problem with Jack. Wolf Keum from Ganghak will prove to be a problem. Then again, no one likes Ganghak and Ganghak likes no one. But Yooson will end up a laughing stock. Jack will not be able to make any moves without risking Yooson. 

_This is all his fault._

Jimmy grips his phone harder. He didn’t get this far just to be casted out over one mistake. He has no one to blame but himself, that is true. This whole mess started in the first place because of his rash decision. Yes, Jimmy has his faults but when did he ever let that stop him? He can bounce back from this. _He must._ Jimmy will not stop until he becomes head of the Union. That will show everyone. Ganghak, Dahyeon, Hyeongshin, Donald Na… _Ben Park._ Jimmy Bae is not finished yet. _He’s just getting started._

He must keep his temper in check on the next assembly. Jimmy can’t afford to make a mistake there. It will only serve as extra ammunition for Donald Na. 

Jimmy throws his towel away in anger. His hands are fucking tied. No matter how hard he thinks, Jimmy can’t see his way out of this. To make matters worse, his fucking headache still won’t go away. 

Could he blame Ben Park for that? As much as it pained him to admit, Jimmy knows that Ben has nothing to do with his headache. It’s actually a blessing that Jimmy didn’t suffer any hallucinations that could hinder him during the fight. The chick he saw at school earlier that day must have been another hallucination. It could be a teacher for all he knows but why would a teacher hang outside during breaktime? 

“Fuck, just what is wrong with me?” Jimmy wondered out loud.

Right at that moment, the sound of the sewing machine returns. Jimmy ran his hand over his face in frustration. What did he do to deserve this? Why? _Just why?_

Jimmy reaches for his headphones. This is the most he can do to drown out the noises. His phone connects to his headphones via Bluetooth, saving him the hassle of plugging it up. 

Jimmy let the melody take him away. To give him a momentary respite from everything. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

_ 07:00 am _

Goeun hums a little song while her fingers weave Mina’s hair together to form a braid. Yuna stands next to them, shifting from one foot to another as she impatiently waits for them to finish. Her own braid swings with every move she makes. The twins made a request to Goeun earlier this morning when she dressed them up for the day. They want to wear a braid instead of their usual pigtails today. Goeun said yes of course. 

“There you go,” Goeun secured the end of the braid with a black hair tie. “You look beautiful.”

They really are. Her little sisters. Their eyes are bright. Their cheeks sport a healthy tint of rosy pink. Goeun always brushes their hair until they shine. Many people never fail to comment on how adorable the twins are. 

Mina gaze upon her reflection on the mirror, admiring Goeun’s handiwork. “Thank you,  _ unnie _ ,” She says with a bright smile that warms Goeun’s heart. “Aren’t you going to braid your hair too?” 

“Yeah!” Yuna mirrors Mina’s smile. “Then the three of us will match!” 

Goeun gives the twins an indulging smile. “Maybe next time.” She is usually too busy making breakfast or getting the twins ready for the day. Speaking of which... “It’s time to go. We wouldn’t want to miss the school bus.”

Yuna gasps out loud. “The bus!” 

Goeun watch on with fondness as the twins race for their backpacks. 

They head to the bus stop hand in hand. Whenever they bump to a neighbor, the three sisters greet them. The sight of the twins never fails to make them smile. 

“Everything will be alright with your big sister here.” 

They always say that. It was meant kindly, to remind the twins not to cause too much trouble for her. It was meant to be a praise, for Goeun did a good job in looking after her sisters. It was meant to be an excuse, one the adults fall back to so they can avert their eyes without feeling guilty. 

Goeun smiles every time. 

At the bus stop, Yuna keeps leaning forward so she can see if the bus is coming. Goeun has to hold on to her to make sure she didn’t fall. Mina didn’t lean forward but she did tip toe to give herself an extra boost. These two are that excited to go to school. 

When the bus does show up from the distance, the twins give her a look of such pure excitement that Goeun can’t stop herself from smiling. 

Goeun crouch down so she can meet the twins’s eye level, “Remember-“

Yuna beat her to it, “To look both ways before we cross the street.”

Mina continues, “Don’t talk to strangers.”

“If we see a car following us, walk the opposite direction.” The twins said in unison. They remember it by heart at this point. “Don’t let anyone in until you get home.” 

“Good,” Goeun pulled the two close for a quick hug. She feels them pat her on the back. “Have fun at school.” 

Goeun watch as the two get on the bus. The driver gives her a nod before the door closes. 

The twins wave at her from their usual seats.

What else can Goeun do but wave back? 

* * *

_ 08:00 am _

She tries not to sigh when the bell finally rings. All of her classmates rushed to their seats before the teacher walked in. School has barely even started and Goeun already wants to go home. The laundry must be ironed today. The meat must be marinated tonight if they want to have bulgogi tomorrow. They are almost out of toothpaste. Has she made the payment to the power company? So many things needed to be done.

Goeun don’t even bother to pay attention to the teacher. She has her textbook and notebook open with a pencil in her hand. That will suffice for now. Even if she makes an effort, the headache makes it hard for her to concentrate. The lack of sleep must have caught up to her. It hinders her studies, but as long as it does not get in the way of… everything else, Goeun is still able to endure it. She can’t afford to get sick. At least this headache is not accompanied with vertigo or anemia. 

The headache this time is a weird case, Goeun will admit that much. For one, the throbbing in her head has been around for weeks. The dull pain stays with her in every waking moment. The beginning of it is downright  _ eerie _ . 

One night before the new school year starts, Goeun is jerked awake from her slumber only to be confronted by a stranger standing at her bedside. Her first thought was Mother being in one of her moods again. Then she remembered that Mother is not home. Goeun’s next thought is  _ the twins _ . A stranger had entered their house and there was no one else but Goeun and her sisters at that moment. She didn’t think. Goeun grabbed the closest thing to her (the pillow) and threw it at the trespasser. It missed. Goeun then leapt to her feet, ready to fend off this stranger before they reached her siblings. It was too dark. She can’t make out any features that can help her make identification later. 

And then they’re gone. 

Just like that. Vanished to thin air. 

Goeun stood there for a few seconds, frozen by disbelief and confusion. Then she rushed out the door. She burst into the twins’s bedroom, waking them up in the process. Goeun pulled them into her embrace. Yuna and Mina kept asking her what’s going on. Goeun can’t answer them. Not when her heart felt like it’s about to burst. In the end she told them it was a nightmare. She spent the next few nights sleeping in the twins’s bedroom after that. With a hammer within her reach on the bed stand. 

Nothing returns to normal after that. 

Weird incidents continue to occur. To Goeun at least. To her knowledge, the twins don't experience anything out of the ordinary. It’s just her. 

Goeun was cooking dinner in the kitchen one evening. She was whisking the eggs to make omelette. All of sudden all she can taste is nicotine. Which is absurd because Goeun doesn’t smoke. She is holding a whisk, not a cigarette. Downing two glasses of water straight did nothing to wash away the taste. Goeun added extra sugar into the mixing bowl for that. 

Then there’s her sudden… interest in motorcycles. Goeun usually pay no attention whatsoever to vehicles. Yet every time a motorbike appears before her, Goeun is able to name their brand, type and year of release on top of her head. She never consumed any automotive media of any sorts. These trivias just come to her like lightning. Just how in the world???

Sometimes, Goeun feels discomfort on her wrist. It’s not so terrible that it makes her cry out, but enough to make her rub and shake her wrist. She can’t think of any sort of activity that could explain this. The phantom pain is usually accompanied with a strong urge to punch something. 

The worst of all however, is the noises that plague her day and night. Goeun kept hearing noises that ought not to be heard. For instance, she hears the sound of a motorcycle engine roaring while she is in the  _ showers _ . It was so close that she thought the motorcycle was right next to her. It always sounds too close for comfort. At times there’s this beeping noise that grates her nerves. Goeun could never figure out where that one came from. And then there’s the music playing inside her head. She heard it even when she turned off all electronic devices at home. The neighbors would never play music this loud.

The only explanation to this phenomenon is that Goeun is losing her mind. 

Unacceptable

Goeun has better things to do than losing her marbles. Like making sure the twins eat their vegetables. 

She glanced at the clock hanging above the blackboard. 

08:27

It’s going to be a long day. 

* * *

_ 16:00 pm  _

Goeun snapped her textbook shut. The classroom becomes noisy as soon as the teacher walks out the door. Some are already rushing to get to their cram school one time. Some are staying behind for various reasons. Today is not her turn to clean the classroom so she can go straight home. The all too familiar anxiety crept under her skin. Did the twins get home safely? Did they remember to lock the doors? What if someone noticed that there are no adults at home and took advantage of it? What if the high school boys, known to be rowdy in this area, decide to bother them?

No, she is being silly. 

The twins are safe at home. Her sisters are clever. Goeun must trust them like they trust her. Without fail. 

Goeun packs up her belongings, determined to ignore the laughters from her classmates. They are not talking about her, Goeun is careful not to give them any gossip material if she can’t stop them from gossiping altogether. They are not even looking at her. Yet Goeun can’t shake off the feeling that they see right through her. That they are somehow able to figure out her secrets. 

No, that is not possible. Goeun is anything but sloppy. 

They don’t know her beyond  _ Good mornings. Can I borrow a pen? Do you know what time is it now? Can you give me a hand?  _

When you show up on time in pristine uniform and tidy hair, what is there to suspect? __

She takes her eyes off from her classmates. The twins are waiting. She best get home. Maybe if she is quick enough Goeun can get a good deal at the market… 

The hallway is filled with noise when Goeun steps out of the classroom. There is something about a crown that both soothes and unnerves her. It is easy to blend in and disappear amidst these many people. It made her think of how someone can still be so  _ alone _ despite being surrounded by so many people.

Then- In the corner of her eyes, Goeun sees something strange. A figure towers over the high school girls. It was definitely a he, even though they have their back turned on her. He appears to wear a school uniform. That mop of hair of his is strawberry blonde, further making him stand out even more in the midst of brown and black hair. Goeun craned her neck to get a better view while wondering how no one noticed a boy walking amongst them.

And then he’s gone. 

Goeun blinks, puts her hand on her temple and turns.

* * *

_ 19:15 pm _

Yuna and Mina finished their dinner without leaving any leftovers. The sight eases the guilt that has weighed inside her heart. Goeun had been second guessing her decision whenever she went out to buy groceries.  _ Is this worth it? Should I get something else or give up on it altogether? Do I actually need it?  _ She could have used the amount of money to buy something else. More than one kind of item for the same price. Or perhaps to pay other expenses such as electricity. Priorities. But Yuna and Mina are growing children. Balanced meals is a must. Goeun can still remember the gnawing pain in her belly when she was their age. Didn’t she swear that she would never let her sisters go through the same experiences that she had? 

It’s worth every penny to see the smiles on their faces. 

The twins must be in bed at 8.30 the latest and no more. Until then they are free to do whatever they want. Yuna and Mina have each other so Goeun can focus on chores. Those two are somewhat of experts at this point. They have to, when they only have each other as company in the hours Goeun is not home. The piled up dishes in the kitchen sink is usually the first task for her to tackle. After that is out of the way, it is her homework she must tackle next. Midway through it Goeun would pause her work to tuck the twins in bed. 

Even more chores await her when Goeun finishes her homework (She convinced herself that half done is enough. Partial credit is still partial credit.). Goeun works in silence in order not to wake the twins. She had the practice for it. Mother never liked it whenever Goeun was too loud. There is so much to do (there is always something to do). Surfaces to wipe. Trash to take out. Laundry to fold. Meat to marinate. Goeun promised the twins that they will have  _ bulgogi  _ tomorrow and she  _ means it _ .

Goeun then would drag herself upstairs after she finished with all her chores for the night. She didn’t immediately go to sleep despite how much she wanted to. Goeun still have lots to do. 

Her work desk is completely covered with sketches and fabrics. She has been working on them little by little. Yuna and Mina are growing at a fast rate. Soon enough Goeun will run out of old clothes to recycle. 

_ ‘Oh, well,’  _ Goeun thought as she sat down.  _ ‘We’ll cross the bridge when we get there.’ _

The twins are fast asleep at this hour. The sound of the sewing machine won’t wake them up.

Goeun picked up her latest project. It is a formal dress she last wore when she was eight years old. Pink. Her favourite color. She meant to strip the tulle skirt and recycle it. The twins love to wear matching clothing. Obviously, Goeun can’t whip out a pair of identical outfits with this amount… But she can still repurpose the tulle to something else. Like making flowers out of them. They can be sewn onto the new tops. Accessories such as hairpins or headbands are not impossible. This is Goeun’s favourite dress when she was younger. She will make the most of it. 

When money is tight, people get… creative. 

One day, she will sew herself a new outfit. It will be pink like the dress in her hands. 

Her hand is steady when she tears apart another piece of her childhood.

* * *

_ 00:00 am _

It is a self-imposed rule for Goeun to go to bed once the clock strikes midnight. That way she gets four hours of sleep. Sometimes she went to bed before then. It almost never happened these days. Maybe her schedule will be less packed after the first semester pass. The headaches are probably due to her unhealthy sleeping pattern. It is definitely not a good thing if Goeun has gotten used to the headaches. 

It’s been a hard month. 

Goeun all but drag herself to go to bed not a few feet away from her. She paused in her steps when she passed the mirror. Tired silver eyes stared back at her. Goeun notices from her reflection that there are bags under her eyes. Nothing a bit concealer can’t fix. Goeun smiles, and is glad to see that there is no tightness on her face to show how tired she is. People are less likely to notice anything else when they are taken by her smiles and batting eyelashes. It saved her more than once. Like that one time when Goeun hadn’t showered for days because the water bills hadn’t been paid. It is most imperative for Goeun to master it. Practise makes perfect. 

Goeun let out a sigh when her head hit the pillow. Her hands and feet ache from working all day long. She will do it all over again in four hours. Rinse and repeat. 

You would think that she would fall asleep the moment she lay in bed. Falling asleep turned out to be the hardest part of the day for Goeun. Her mind just couldn’t settle. There is always something for her to remember. To be left alone with only herself and her thoughts as company is not something Goeun is ever comfortable with. Peace is not like this. Peace is not meant to last. 

More than loneliness, she despises stillness even more. 

So much that Goeun wishes for the music to come. 

The music happened around the same time as the headache. It took her by surprise, just like everything else. Usually, it starts to play late at night. Goeun doesn’t really mind because it made her work less… monotonous. There is a strange thrill in the anticipation. What kind of music will play next? Will she recognize the artist? How long until the music stops? 

Goeun thinks she will be sad when the music stops for good. The distraction the music provides her is almost comforting. She has very little of those these days. Whatever it is that caused the music, Goeun hoped it would never go away. Let some things stay with her for once. 

Right then and there, the sound of guitar strings play out from the corner of her mind, slowly filling her headspace, pushing down all her worries and fears. 

Goeun smiles and closes her eyes. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning I wanted to use her English name, Gwen, but I changed my mind. Goeun fits this character so much better. 
> 
> Next chapter: Jimmy and Goeun meet for the first time. It's like a scene taken out straight from a Disney Princess movie.


	3. Chapter 3

Today had been nothing but a test for Jimmy’s self control.

The latest Assembly is, by all account, a success, but it didn’t feel like it to Jimmy. 

He almost stormed out of the building after the Assembly was over. _Almost._ Instead he simply stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked out in a calm manner.

Jimmy had been prepared for the worst. He showed up with his best poker face. Jack Kang is ready to oversee the school and the operations in the event that Jimmy is too incapacitated to resume his position. Or worse, excommunicated. The most important thing is that Jimmy didn’t run away.

Then the fucking snake Donald Na announced that Yoosun and Hyeongshin will play subordinate for the other two schools. 

The worst part is that for a fleeting moment there, Jimmy felt relieved. He is not removed from his position. Or getting excommunicated from the Union. His position is safe. For the time being. All he needed to do is to follow Jake Ji’s lead. Then the relief turned to disgust and shame. He is Jimmy fucking Bae. He is no one’s lapdog. The only reason he listens to Donald Na in the first place is because Jimmy acknowledged him to be at a level cut above him and the rest of them. One day Jimmy will take the leader spot from Donald Na, but that day is not today. Jimmy is not there yet. Myles Joo tried and he failed. Jimmy is not so eager to repeat Myles Joo’s mistake. Hence why he didn’t leap out of his seat and throw a punch at Donald’s smug face earlier. 

It is a bitter pill to swallow, but the best course of action is for Jimmy to stay put.

But _the humiliation._ He will always remember it. Others definitely will. Jimmy’s shoulders trembled from barely repressed rage when Donald Na announced his decision. He balled his fist so hard that his nails dig into his palms, leaving crescent moon impressions on them. The fact that they don’t bleed makes it even more surprising to Jimmy. 

He has it better than Forrest Lee. Jimmy will admit that much. Wolf Keum is one brutal sonuvabitch. It is even worse for Forrest Lee because he was once beaten up by the psycho. When Myles Joo was still Hyeongshin’s number one it gave Forrest Lee a modicum of protection against Wolf Keum. Now he has no such thing. Forrest Lee, and by extension Hyeongshin High, is completely at Wolf Keum’s mercy. 

Jimmy doubted that Forrest Lee expected this turn of events either. The guy is in such a pitiful state now. Jimmy is used to seeing him smirking from behind Myles Joo’s shoulder. He had always been of the opinion that Forrest Lee was riding on Myles Joo’s coattail this entire time. He must have some fighting skill in him because Myles Joo hates weaklings more than anything, but Forrest Lee is nowhere near the level where he can go toe to toe with Ben Park. Witnesses described it as a slaughter. Ben Park completely overwhelmed Forrest Lee. They said that Ben Park went as far as to lift up Forrest Lee by the pants. Not even Jimmy underwent that much embarrassment the last time he clashed with Ben Park. And now Hyeongshin is forced to be under Ganghak’s authority? Jimmy actually almost felt bad for him then, if it weren’t for the situation he found himself in.

Jake Ji is much more reasonable than Wolf Keum. Jimmy never heard rumours of Jake making unreasonable demands. In fact many people found him too easygoing. Flippant even. If it weren’t for him witnessing Changyeon Lee’s beat down in Jake’s hands, Jimmy would dismiss Jake Ji as a pretty boy and not much else. As much as it pains him to admit, Jake Ji is at the level that Jimmy can’t surpass. Yet. So he had been wary when Jake told him that Yooson doesn’t have to follow Dahyeon’s lead. Jimmy can’t get a good read on the guy. Is Jake Ji pitying him? Or does he have ulterior motives? Yet it brings Jake almost no benefit in letting Jimmy run free. Having Jimmy placed strictly under his command would boost Jake Ji’s position in the hierarchy. The two of them are not so close that Jake is willing to defy Donald’s direct order for Jimmy’s sake. No one is _that_ nice.

The only possible reason Jimmy can come up with to explain Jake’s benevolence is that he wants Jimmy to be indebted to him. If that is what he’s aiming for then it fucking works. Now Jimmy is unable to go against the guy without a good reason. This must be what they call _kill them with kindness._

It could have been worse, but it’s not better either. 

Jimmy is stuck. 

Jimmy is about to start his bike when his phone begins to vibrate in his pocket. Jimmy pulled it out. The Caller ID shows Jack Kang’s name and photo. 

Jimmy pressed the green telephone button, “Yeah.”

Jack didn't waste any second, _“How did it go?”_

“Hyeongshin is now under Wolf Keum’s command,” Jimmy went straight to the point. “Yoosun is supposed to follow Jake Ji but he let us go. So no actual changes.”

But the situation is no longer the same. 

_“Oh,”_ He hear Jack say from the other end.

“I’ll explain everything tomorrow. Have everyone gathered at the usual spot.”

_“Even Helmet?”_

Jimmy considered it for a moment. That asshole _fucking_ snitched on him. Then he went and defect to Hyeongshin High. Even Donald Na voiced his disgust at the boy. If he can’t control that rat, then Jimmy truly is a joke everyone believes him to be.

“ _Especially_ Helmet,” Jimmy’s grip on his phone strengthens. “It’s about time that I discipline that bastard.”

_“Got it.”_

Jimmy presses the disconnect button, ending the call. 

The back of his head throbs with pain. Jimmy pushes down a growl that threatens to escape. What must he do to make these damn headaches to stop?!

Jimmy punched the key into his motorcycle with a bit more force than necessary. It won’t do him any good to hang around this place. Yeoinaru is too much for him at the moment. _Everything is too fucking much._

He needs to leave. _Now._

* * *

Jimmy only came home to change out of his school uniform and after that he bolted out of the house like Cerberus is snapping at his heels. Jack Kang sent him a couple of texts to check up on him. They both know that if Jack tries to call him now Jimmy won’t pick up. Jimmy sent him the reply and Jack sent no more texts. 

Jimmy rides his motorcycle with no particular destination in mind. This aimless wandering of his probably lasted for about an hour before Jimmy finally felt calmer. His current location is near Seonyugyo Bridge and that’s where he decided to head next. 

Seonyugyo Bridge is a famous tourist spot. It is a famous filming location to boot. So Jimmy is mildly surprised when he finds the bridge to be empty. Not even a jogger is in sight. The lights have been switched on shortly after the sunset. It makes a pretty sight. Very Instagram-able. If Jimmy looks to his side, the cityscape is spread out before him. 

The wooden boards creak under his steps. Jimmy doesn’t stop walking until he is right at the centre of the bridge. Right at the highest point of the arch that helps support the whole structure from below. 

There he stood. A boy - not even a man- trying to take on the world. Brazenly. Recklessly. Viciously.

He began to think. 

With Jake Ji letting him retain his authority, virtually nothing changed for Yoosun High. Jimmy is still the head. Jack Kang is still his number two. But he is still the lowest ranked lieutenant in the Union. They don’t take Yoosun High half as seriously as they do with the other schools. His loss means Yoosun will be further underestimated. 

Donald Na let him off with a warning and that’s bad enough.

Jimmy is not ignorant of the whispers behind his back. Every doubt and sneer. Those who did it openly are taught a lesson by him. Still the whispers never cease. It’s already bad enough that they insist that Ben Park is the stronger one, but Jimmy keeps getting compared to the other heads. Whatever accomplishments he made hardly matters in their eyes. This has gone on for about a year now. It will only get even harder from here. 

It’s tiresome to have your every single move scrutinized. How everyone expects you to fail, gleefully waiting for your fall from grace. 

There is a way for Jimmy to come out on top. 

It was the same way Donald Na conquered Yeongdeungpo. The same way Wolf Keum was able to snatch the top spot in the Union in such short notice. The same way Ben Park gets acknowledged by everyone, Donald Na included.

Strength. 

Jimmy needs to prove his strength to everyone. It is the only way to make others shut up and listen. Isn’t that how he started out as well? By defeating others? Power cannot be faked. No matter how much Phillip Kim would love that to be the case. Strength is needed to survive in this dog-eat-dog world they live in. 

No underhanded plots. No clever strategies. No bribes. No shortcuts. 

Pure strength. 

Jimmy is not lacking that. Far from it. But the battle with Ben Park makes it clear to everyone that Jimmy is not as strong as he believes himself to be. It’s no one’s fault but his. Well, what else can he do but rectify that?

He spent an entire year since his first fight with Ben Park racking up his experience. There is no shortage of opponents in Yeongdeungpo. Jimmy has made plenty of enemies since last year. Though Jimmy needs to be smarter about it from now on. The last thing he needs is to give Donald Na another reason to get on his case. This isn’t middle school anymore. The Union will only get bigger from here. More opportunistic bastards will show up. Each and everyone of them will not hesitate to trip over the other to get to the top. No doubt they will try to replace Jimmy. 

Donald Na might decide to just remove Jimmy should he prove to be too disobedient. Myles Joo opened their eyes that their position is not as safe as they initially thought. Out of everyone, Jimmy’s position is the most precarious one. 

He cannot let everything he’s done up until now be a naught. He mustn't let those people win.

Jimmy must start by consolidating his base. Discipline the boys so there won’t be another Helmet. Coordinate with the student council. Hide the Union businesses from the public eye. 

While he’s doing all of those, Jimmy must improve his foundation. Stamina, technique, speed. Everything. Jimmy can still remember how the pale shrimp from the other day was able to dodge his punch. _Twice._ Not even Ben Park could do that. 

It is a truly dire situation for Jimmy, if a single runt can catch him off guard for a moment there. 

Tomorrow though. He will deal with it all tomorrow. Tonight, Jimmy just wants to brood. To rest. He is so _fucking_ tired.

Jimmy put on his headphones. Music will help distract his mind from… everything. Jimmy takes out his phone next. After half a minute of scrolling and swiping, Jimmy finally found the track he’s looking for. He leaned against the railing as the song started. 

_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. Open your eyes. Look up to the skies and see..._

One could never go wrong with _Queen_. This song is a classic for a reason. Jimmy feels his annoyance ebb away as the tune continues. 

_“I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,”_ Jimmy started to sing along in a low voice. “ _Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low.”_ Normally he would only sing in the safety of his bedroom, or when Jack Kang is there. No one is here though. Jimmy rests his arms against the railing. _“Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me…”_

The familiar piano sequence begins. Jimmy closes his eyes, letting his body to relax by a fraction… He opened his mouth to ready himself for the next part.

_“Mama... just killed a man…”_

Jimmy’s eyes snapped wide open. That wasn’t him. Not Freddie Mercury either. The voice is distinctively female. Jimmy looks to his left and right. No one is here at the bridge with him. The new voice continues.

_“Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger, now he's dead.”_ The female voice is so soft that Jimmy would miss it if he didn’t pay attention. “ _Mama~ life had just begun~ But now I've gone and thrown it all away~”_

Oh. _Oh._ This must be another hallucination. A new one at that. Jimmy wonders why he is still surprised at this point. Flying pigs would not even shock him if they were to appear before him right now. 

_“Mama~ ooh~ Didn't mean to make you cry… If I'm not back again this time tomorrow… Carry on, carry on... As if nothing really matters…”_

_Well_

As far as hallucination goes, this one isn’t so bad. So he’s hearing voices now. Actual human voices as opposed to sewing machines. No big deal. Jimmy will not be done in by imaginary voices in his head. He’s better than that. The female voice carries a slight tremble in it. As if after years of disuse the female finally finds her voice again. 

_“Too late, my time has come,”_ Jimmy joins Freddie Mercury and the female voice. “ _Sends shivers down my spine. Body's aching all the time. Goodbye... Everybody. I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.”_

Oh, and how the truth _hurts_. To learn that everything he’s done up until now is not enough? That no one save from Jack seems to appreciate the effort he put into his work? Jimmy went through all that trouble and he didn’t even get as much as a blink from Donald Na. Is he really that low in their eyes? Him? Jimmy Bae? 

_“Mama, ooh~”_ The female sings with a little more _oomph_ into it this time. “ _I don't want to die. I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all…”_

The guitar solo begins, and Jimmy hears a little gasp. 

He turned around only to lock eyes with a girl who _definitely_ wasn't there there a second ago. Jimmy would have noticed her coming up to him otherwise. 

The girl wears an expression of confusion on her face. Jimmy supposes he looks just as bewildered as she does. The city lights illuminate her face, bringing out her grey eyes. Her lips parted slightly as she gazes back at him. She is wearing a baggy pink hoodie that reaches the middle of her thighs. Her blunt black bangs somehow remain in place despite the breeze making Jimmy’s own sway. She stands there barefooted. 

The sun has gone out for hours, but Jimmy can feel its warmth kissing his skin. It settles in his stomach as if Jimmy had downed an entire pint of alcohol in a matter of seconds. 

Something inside him snapped. Like a strand of string stretched thin. The grip in his skull loosens and all kinds of sensations gush out as if a dam has been opened. It is dizzying, maddening, _exhilarating_. 

Jimmy dares to blink, and in the span of that one action, the scenery changes. He is no longer standing on the bridge. He stood in what seems to be a bedroom with the girl. _What the actual fuck._ His heart begins to race yet somehow Jimmy wills himself to not break off eye contact with the girl. Fucking hell. For a hallucination, she sure is goddamned pretty. 

She tilts her head slightly as she considers him. Probably trying to make sure if he’s actually, _physically_ , in the same place as her. Logically, Jimmy knows it’s impossible. He can still hear the sound of traffic in the distance. The cool breeze against his cheek. The creak of the wooden board underneath his foot made as he shifted his balance. 

Jimmy is still at the bridge. The railing underneath his palm tells him so. 

And yet…

This is not a trick. Jimmy has never been so sure in his life. He doesn’t know why. He just _knows_. 

_The girl_ _is_ _there_. _Right here. With him._

The girl seemingly reached the same conclusion. The tension on her shoulders loosens. This whole time, she didn’t break off her stare either. The corner of her mouths quirk upwards to form a smile. A fragile little thing. It made her softer and brighter at the same time. The sight caused his breath to hitch and his stomach to flip.

Despite himself, Jimmy can’t help but smile back.

The guitar solo that have been building this whole time finally reach completion. The girl straightens her back. Jimmy unconsciously slipped to a stance in response. 

_“I see a little silhouetto of a man,”_ Her voice is soft still but there’s a playful edge to it. Beckoning at the same time.

Jimmy takes her invitation without a second thought. _“Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?”_

He relishes the look of pleasant surprise on her face. Emboldened, Jimmy takes a step forward. The girl doesn’t back away. 

“ _Thunderbolt and lightning very, very frightening me!” _

Their harmony strips away any layer of reservation left from the girl. She steps forward with her arms open. _“Galileo!”_

Jimmy grins at the provocation, _“Galileo!”_

_“Galileo!”_ The Girl sings louder. 

Jimmy repeated in kind, _“Galileo!”_

_“Galileo Figaro!”_

The Girl let out a breathless _‘Ha!’_ Not quite a laugh, more like a gasp, but the relief in it is palpable. Jimmy’s chest tightens at the sight of it, though he doesn’t quite know why. 

The band bellows, _“Magnifico-o-o-o-o~”_

The next verse is coming and both of them know what to do.

_“I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.”_ Jimmy theatrically placed a hand against his chest.

She plays along, pointing at him, _“He's just a poor boy from a poor family.”_

Neither of them dare to look away. _“Spare him his life from this monstrosity.” _

The piano plays. The Girl seized first. _“Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?”_

“ _Bismillah! No, we will not let you go!”_ Jimmy half sings, half shouts. _(“Let him go!”)_

The Girl takes another step forward, _“Bismillah! We will not let you go!” (“Let him go!”)_

Jimmy unconsciously takes another step like he is being pulled, _“Bismillah! We will not let you go!” (“Let me go!”)_

_“Will not let you go!”_ _(“Let me go!”)_

Now that he is closer, Jimmy can get a better look of her. She doesn’t seem afraid of him. Quite the opposite in fact. She seems to be... enjoying this. More so because he’s there. Right here to share it with her. How many people can honestly say that they enjoy his company? Jimmy can’t think of any but Jack. 

_“Never let you go!”_ _(“Never, never, never, never let me go!”)_

And him? What is it about him that makes the girl let her guard down? Jimmy is a nothing but a stranger to her. An unknown boy somehow transported to her bedroom. She might as well think of him as a hallucination as he did earlier. That none of this is real. 

_“Oh oh oh oh!”_

So why does his heart feel like it's about to burst with joy when he looks at that smile? 

_“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!” _

Does she feel the same sunkissed-warmth on her skin when she looks at him? 

The Girl take a quick breath before continuing, _“Oh, mama mia, mama mia~”_

Jihoon finishes it. _“Mama mia, let me go!”_

_“Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me~!” _

The next instrumental segment begins to play. Jimmy decides that he will no longer hold himself back. It begins with a tapping of his foot before the rhythm makes his body move. Every move Jimmy makes, the Girl makes one of her own. It’s as if she is picking his energy and him with hers. They are not quite dancing per se, but they are not standing still either. 

_“So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?!”_ Jimmy practically screams. 

Fuck Donald Na. Fuck the Union. Fuck the lot of them. They think he will let them walk over him and get away with it?! 

The Girl doesn’t hold back with her screaming either, _“So you think you can love me and leave me to die?!”_

She means it. Jimmy realises. The anguished expression on her face. The rage in her voice. Someone had hurt her. The thought made him flex his hand. _Who hurt you?_ He wanted to ask. He wanted to punch them. 

_“Oh~ Baby~ Can’t do this to me, baby~” _

Fuck no! Jimmy deserves better. The Girl deserves better too. They didn’t put up with this much shit only to be stepped on. 

_“Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!” _

The bridge. Bedroom. Bridge. Bedroom. Black. Pink. Bridge. Freddie Mercury. Guitar. Grey. Bedroom. Black. His voice. Freddie Mercury. Her voice. Wind. White. Bedroom. Bridge. 

Colors and sounds meld together. Everything is moving too quickly and slowly at the same time. And in the midst of all, there she is. 

Jimmy’s habit of getting into people’s faces rear its head. He usually does it to shock them. To break their composure slash flow in a fight. Here he does it because… Well, he just wants to get a better look at her. The Girl doesn’t back away when Jimmy closes the distance between them. Jimmy bends down slowly to look as non-threatening as possible. She looks down demurely for a moment before craning her neck upward to meet his eyes again. Pink blush spread across that fair skin. Jimmy would back off if she showed a hint of discomfort. Thank God she didn’t. Jimmy leans down a bit more so their noses are almost touching. He angles his head so he won’t come off as predatory. 

_“Ooooh, ooh yeah, ooh yeah...”_

The tempo begins to slow down. The song is nearing its end. The Girl’s smile falters slightly. She has realised it as well. The song is about to finish. What will happen when it does? Will she go away? Will Jimmy disappear before her eyes? 

It’s been… What? Four minutes? Five? It doesn’t feel like it. It felt like a lifetime. 

Those grey eyes turn glassy for real. Her stare almost pleading. Is she about to cry? Why the sudden sadness? Then it hit him. She doesn’t want to go. And if he is being honest with himself, neither does he.

_Where are you from? What burden do you carry on your shoulders? Why do I feel so at ease around you? Who broke your heart?_

Time is running out for them. If Jimmy had set the loop setting earlier… Maybe they will have more time. But that isn’t a guarantee. 

If this is going to end, then Jimmy must savor every moment. He drinks in her appearance, trying to burn every detail into his memory. 

_“Nothing really matters…,”_ Jimmy sings. They have stopped moving now. 

_“Anyone can see…”_ The Girl’s voice gets softer by the syllable. 

_“Nothing really matters…”_ Jimmy flex his hand.

_“Nothing really matters to me…” _

If he does something now, an act that he would otherwise not consider in any normal days, no one will know. Save for himself and this girl before him. Jimmy will blame it on the madness. He must act now before the last music note hits. All he needed to do is _move._

_“Any way the wind blows…” _

The song ends. 

Jimmy braces himself.

The Girl visibly holds her breath. 

Neither of them look away. 

One second. Two seconds. Three.

None of them make a sound or move until the next track in Jimmy’s playlist begins to play.

The obvious relief on The Girl’s face is so heartbreaking that it spur Jimmy to raise his hand to… To… 

The Girl beams, “Hi.”

Jimmy blinks.

And she’s gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think the bridge scene is familiar then you are right. I took direct inspirations from Cinderella's So This Is Love and What's Up scene from Sense8. You know the one. It was way too romantic to ignore. Consider this as homage for the series.


	4. Chapter 4

There are times when Goeun doesn’t remember. 

The things that had happened. The things she must attend to. The things she must worry about. And then there are the things Goeun wouldn’t ever let herself forget. Goeun spent her life being chased and being the one chasing. 

But there are exceptions. Moments where Goeun is allowed to just  _ be _ . That brief headspace when one wakes up from their slumber, before reality settles on their body. The sound of liquid running as you fill your cup. The wait for the pedestrian crossing sign to change color. It’s not rest. Not really. But it was  _ peace _ and Goeun was never one to waste anything. 

Everything always comes back to her in the end.

Goeun wakes up this morning with sun-warmth buoy inside her chest. Funnily, the sun is not even up yet. She doesn’t have to question why the difference. She already knows. Oh, how could she not? 

Last night was magical. For reasons Goeun couldn’t explain. No, really, she can’t. 

How can she say that she sang with a person who is not really there without being seen as mad? The cold yet gentle caress of the wind against her cheek when the window of her bedroom is locked? The steady wood underneath her bare feet as the axis of her world is turned upside down? 

It’s not a trick. It’s not a hallucination. It’s not a dream. 

So, magic. 

Music notes still reverberates inside her. It flows through her from head to toe. Every bone. Every vein. Every synapse. The pain that she thought had permanently lodged itself inside her skull disappeared. Almost as if it is giving up its space for whatever was happening at the time. 

More importantly, she wasn’t alone.

The first thing she noticed about The Boy is his voice. She heard him before she saw him. He sounds so tired. Freddy Mercury doesn’t stop his singing when Goeun locks eyes with The Boy. He was the same boy she saw at school the other day. Goeun recognised the strawberry blonde hair. The softness of the color sharply contrasts his hard eyes. But then they turned gentler as The Boy returned her smile. 

_ (It wasn’t until later that Goeun realized that all her smiles were genuine.)  _

Singing with him felt like forever. A song of a lifetime. A lifetime of a song. Bright collages and connecting gazes. 

Goeun looked down when The Boy drew closer. The action implied interest. Goeun had boys checking her out before, but this one is different. Yes, Goeun will admit that the circumstances surrounding them are unusual from the start. But it’s not just that. Once she puzzled out that he is the one behind the strange music this entire time, relief flooded her heart.  _ There really was someone.  _ The fact that he is handsome adds to the excitement. 

He had given her peace. Made her feel less lonely without knowing it. Goeun honestly could cry.

She didn’t, of course. Instead she channelled it all into her singing. 

Butterflies fluttered inside her stomach when he responded back to her. The Boy noticed, she thinks, that there was more into it in her singing. It’s as good as being seen. Usually Goeun would be adverse to having someone see through the persona she has so carefully cultivated, but she didn’t see the point to  _ pretend  _ in that moment. She  _ wanted _ to be seen. By this boy she had never met before in her life. And he did. He heard her. He saw her. 

Upon waking, Goeun sits on her bed, hand resting over her racing heart. Her mind desperately trying to recall what The Boy sounds like. His strawberry blonde hair and sharp jaw. The shape of the zipper on his jacket. Every detail she could think of. Thinking about him makes her heart ache. All sorts of emotions swirled inside of her. Goeun can’t even decide where to begin. Not when they are tangled up with each other.

It’s not love. What she feels for him is not like that. More like infatuation. More like a revelation. More like a connection. 

It is shallow of her to think so. But Goeun is allowed to be foolish just this once, yes? To act like a normal teenage girl for once in her life. Finding a boy attractive will not bring the end of the world. It brought her a measure of relief that she is still able to desire something for herself. For the sake of desire itself. That she had let herself to entertain it, brief as it was. 

Guilt lodges in her heart, though Goeun can’t quite figure out why. Because her last thought before sleep took her was The Boy? Because she was having fun instead of looking after her sisters?  _ Because she wanted something? _

Goeun had wanted her time with The Boy to never end.

Singing with a handsome boy on a bridge with light all around them? When near the end The Boy stood so close Gouen thought he was going to kiss her? When he had smiled at her, looked at her like  _ that? _

How could Goeun walk away from that unaffected? She’s just a girl  _ (not always a sister or mother) . _

Before last night, Goeun never thought that she could be like this. Never would have imagined that she would sing on top of her lungs. To share it with a complete stranger. 

When was the last time she was so… unrestrained?

Goeun doesn’t always remember. She will end up remembering at the end of the day. Sometimes she remembers the good things.

Now she has one more happy memory to look back to.

* * *

School is much more tolerable now that the headache is gone. Goeun can actually pay attention to the lessons now. She handed in her incomplete assignment and told herself that she will get partial credit no matter what. Goeun is under no illusion that she is an average student. Heavens know that she is far from a model student. As long as she shows up at school and does her coursework, no one will suspect. 

This school does not put so much emphasis on academic achievement unlike some high schools out there. Thus their coursework is not as rigid. Goeun chose this school precisely because of that. Naturally, the school fees are much lower. If Goeun is careful their funds won’t run out anytime soon. The school’s lackluster reputation is naught but an afterthought. Goeun is just glad that she is able to enroll in a high school at all. 

Goeun goes to school, does her part as a student, and goes home to do her part as a big sister for her little sisters. 

_ (Sometimes the line between a sister and a mother blurs.) _

It leaves her little time to make friends. 

The thing is, Goeun doesn’t know how to make friends. She thinks she does, did, once upon a time, but then  _ everything _ happened and now she had forgotten how. 

She can make herself likeable, knows how important it is to be liked. Mother had gotten away with so many things because she is beautiful. She had let Goeun see every part of herself, the good and the bad, but to the rest of the world she only showed them her beauty. The world only wanted to see beautiful things. It is what they demand of them. Mother knows the rules all too well. Goeun too learned these same rules after her breasts grew and hips widened. Beauty is important.

The same rules do not always apply to her fellow teenage girls. High school is a different board game altogether. 

Goeun pays attention to her classmates and teachers. Not unlike how she paid attention to Mother when she was younger. She is older now, and these people couldn’t do anything worse than what Mother already did to her, but they can make her life difficult all the same. All of these girls wanted something. Goeun can see that. Good grades, friendship, boyfriends, college of their dreams, popularity. In the end it all comes down to one thing;  _ survival .  _

Goeun is a single player. She has no clique to fall back to. No seniors she is friendly with who can guide her through these waters. The teachers left them to their own devices, too overwhelmed with their number to care for each and every single one of them. Goeun only has herself and she is used to it. 

These people are not her allies but not her enemies either. Goeun must be careful to not make them her enemies. A new day is a new battle for her. She doesn’t have the strength to fight a second war at the same time. 

Being added to the class’s group chat is a start. Goeun never starts a conversation herself, but her replies are all sensible and succinct. Sometimes she tries to be witty. She would throw in occasional emoticons and stickers for good measure. It won’t do if she comes off as too serious. 

In class she does not make a ruckus. Goeun is never a loud person by nature (nor habit, Mother made sure of that). Ruckus are something boys do back when they were in elementary. She watches out for rivalries and growing distances and she does not take sides. Nor does she speak up about it. It seldom happens but there will be a day where she doesn’t say anything at all. Goeun wonders if her classmates ever realize.

They do take notice of her. They admire her for her looks and envy her for it. Goeun tailored her uniform a bit so they will fit her perfectly. She’d rather that they sooner notice her curves than that her worn out backpack. Not too much though. Goeun doesn’t want to be accused of distracting the male teachers. That will make her classmates turn on her faster than anything else. 

She only ever gets her chances during school hours, when everyone is in the building, so Goeun must not waste any opportunity. 

One such opportunity presents itself after school. Goeun never made a habit to linger around. But then she noticed her classmate hurried out of the classroom. Goeun waited for a few beats before she followed suit. She saw Inso Park enter the restroom.

Goeun steps inside the restroom, selects a random stall and closes the door. She began to count in her head while inspecting her nails. After the count of thirty Goeun pushed the flush and exited the stall. She barely turns the faucet when she hears the sound of a door creaking. Goeun raised her head to look at the mirror. Inso Park pokes her head out.

“Goeun? Is that you?” She asked in a restless tone.

Goeun turned around to look at Inso Park properly. “Inso? Is there something wrong?” She inserted enough inflection in her voice to sound mildly concerned. 

“It’s my period,” Inso Park answered. Her face pale. “It came earlier than I expected. Do you have…?” 

“Yes,” Goeun quickly wiped her hands. She always keeps a pad in all her bags as a precaution. 

Inso Park’s eyes shined with relief and gratitude when Goeun handed her the pad. “Oh my goodness. Thank you so much-“

Goeun waits until Inso Park comes out. Her expression is lighter now that her dilemma has been resolved. “Are there any stains…?” She turns her body around.

“No. You’re safe.”

“Thank heavens you are here, Goeun,” Inso smiles in gratitude. “You’re so nice.”

Goeun smiles back. 

(Her stomach settles. Only for a bit. Inso must never find out that it was never a coincidence in the first place. Nor there is any true concern.)

She and Inso parted ways outside the restroom. Inso returns to their classroom, back to her group of friends. Now that Inso is indebted to her, she, and by extension her group, won’t turn hostile against her anytime soon. Goeun watches Inso walking with her girlfriends and for a moment, she wonders if they will accept her if she chases after them now. 

No. Goeun forces herself to look away. That is simply wishful thinking. They won’t like being intruded upon. Goeun is satisfied with this much.

School is  _ survival of the fittest  _ in a nutshell. Goeun must survive for another three years. Anything can happen in that period of time. She must not let anything slip. One mistake and it’s all over. Goeun must keep herself safe. She is the only one who can keep the twins safe. 

There are surely many ways to keep oneself safe. If there is any to begin with, Mother never taught her how.

Goeun will have to make do with the tactics and tools she has now. She must.

If they no longer work, if her schoolmates turn their fangs on her, then… 

It’s a good thing that Goeun knows how to survive against all odds. 

* * *

Knock the door three times. Turn the knob gently. A smile ready in place. Push the door open. 

It is a little ritual between Goeun and her sisters. They never ever speak about it but it all falls into place. It is something they agreed on. That’s how the twins know it is their big sister behind the door. It put all three of them at ease. 

“I’m home!” Goeun announced as she closed the door behind her. Gently, as not to cause unnecessary loud noise. Goeun is always gentle, always careful, when it comes to the twins. 

She hears running footsteps before Mina and Yuna appear from the kitchen. 

Mina is the first to reach her, wrapping her arms around her legs. “Unnie!” 

Yuna followed suit, tugging on her shirt. “We saved you some snacks!”

Goeun laughs. She almost never makes lunch nowadays (too little time, too tight budget) so she always prepares snacks for the twins to munch on while they wait for her. Sometimes she didn’t cook anything and just prepared cookies or chips. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as Mina and Yuna have something to eat. 

Mina and Yuna immediately go off to tell her about their day. Goeun let the twins lead her to the kitchen. Today’s snack is bread crust rusk. They had toast for breakfast today. The crusts can be turned to snacks. Nothing goes to waste. 

After she changed her clothes and dutifully ate the rusks the twins saved for her, Goeun set to work. Today’s dinner will be  _ jangjorim _ . The leftover will be their breakfast tomorrow. Yuna and Mina are allowed to help if the recipes don't require the use of knives or a stove.  _ Jangjorim _ requires both, the twins contend themselves with drawing on the kitchen table while Goeun cooks. When food is ready the twins will help set up the table. They get to say that they assist. It made them feel included.

Goeun is in the middle of boiling the meat when the doorbell rang.

She whipped her head so fast that she heard a _‘crick_ ’. Yuna and Mina look at each other first before turning to her, unsure. 

They never have guests over.  _ Ever . _

The doorbell rings again.

Goeun wiped her hands on her apron. Who could it possibly be? The neighbors? The twins are  _ good _ . Why would anyone complain about them. A salesman perhaps? 

_ ‘It couldn’t be Mother, could it?’  _

No, it’s not Mother. She doesn’t need to use the doorbell of her own home. What if it’s… No, that is even more unlikely.

“Coming!” Goeun calls out as she rushes to the front door. She pushed open the door slightly. The gap wide enough to let her get a glimpse of the visitor. “Who is it-”

The first thing she sees is  _ red _ . 

Roses. So many of them. The arrangement is large enough that it completely hid the delivery man's head. 

“Hello,” The delivery man turned his body so he could see Goeun. “Is this the residence of Hana Song?”

“Yes,” Goeun fully swung the door open. “She’s my mother.” 

“This is a delivery for her. A specialty of our store. 100 Roses floral arrangement.” He shifted on his foot to better distribute the weight in his hold.

“One hundred? Truly?” Goeun gazes at the bulk. 

“Yes, each vase contains 25 roses. The other three are in the van,” The man confirmed. “May I come in?”

_‘No,’_ Goeun thought. She wanted nothing more than to close the door and puke. 

She let him in anyways. 

The delivery man put the arrangement on the living room for the lack of better options. He goes out and returns with another vase full of roses. The process repeated two more times before all four vases were in the living room. He produced a slip for Goeun to sign next. She barely looked at the paper. Yuna and Mina are watching from afar. Goeun can feel their eyes on her. 

Goeun is all smiles the whole time. Unfailingly polite, welcoming,  _ good _ . When the delivery man noticed the twins Goeun wanted nothing more than to claw his eyes out.  _ Don’t look at my sisters. How dare you. You are not welcome here.  _

She questions the man instead, “May I know who ordered the flowers?” 

The delivery man chuckles, “A secret admirer of your mother, Miss.” 

_‘Wonderful,’_ Goeun thought sourly. That doesn’t help at all. “My mother will be delighted when she sees them.” 

She sees him out to the front gate. The delivery man tips his hat at her before he climbs inside his van. Goeun doesn’t move from her spot until the van disappears at the corner. She doesn’t slam the door close. Goeun has too much decorum to do that. Not to mention loud noises scare the twins.

Speaking of the twins, they are now at the living room staring at the Rose Monstrosities. 

“Unnie,” Mina looked up to her when Goeun entered the room. “That’s a lot of flowers.” 

“I could hide behind them!” Yuna moved closer to test out her theory but Goeun caught her forearm in time.

“They’re for Mother,” Goeun told them. She doesn’t know what else to say. 

That does the trick. The twins drop any questions. They don’t ask about Mother. 

Goeun let go of Yuna’s forearm. “I should check on the meat.” 

The twins let Goeun shepherd them back to the kitchen.

The scent of roses fills the room. Goeun never smells anything more sickening. 

* * *

Dinner is a silent affair. Neither twins speak. Nor did Goeun. None of them knew what to say. The Rose Monstrosities is in a different room yet Goeun think can smell it from the kitchen. 

After they finished their meal, Goeun helped the twins wash up. Clothed them, tuck them in, read them a bedtime story complete with a lullaby in the end. She waits until the twins are fast asleep before she leaves their bedroom. 

She tries to distract herself. Dirty dishes in the sink. A basket of laundry to be carried upstairs. Surfaces to disinfect and wiped. Inventory to check. Anything that can take her mind off the Rose Monstrosity. For once she is glad that there is always something to do. 

Then it’s time to sort out the mails.

Papers in all kinds of size and color strewn over the kitchen table. Junk mail will be automatically discarded. Flyers are to be put aside for future use. Coupons she hoard greedily. It is not hyperbole for Goeun to say that coupons have saved their lives on multiple occasions. 

Everything is fine until Goeun finds herself holding the bills. The numbers made her think of the Rose Monstrosities. 

Goeun put down the paper. 

The Rose Monstrosities await her in the living room. 

Goeun stood at the entrance. Her gaze fell on the red flowers. She doesn’t know how long she’s been standing there. Don’t know when exactly did she move to get closer to the flower arrangements. The roses are of a darker variant. 

_ “A secret admirer of your mother, Miss.”  _ The delivery man’s words echoed in her head. 

So Mother found herself a rich man this time, huh? Someone with a thick enough wallet to afford these flowers. The message these flowers convey is not lost to her. Red roses. 100 of them. Delivered straight to their address. This so-called secret admirer is serious. 

Goeun has no clue which angers her more; Mother’s radio silence or the fact that Mother told an unknown man the address of their home. Where her daughters live. Does the man even know that Hana Song is a mother of three? It won’t be the first time Mother duped men. 

She always makes time for men. Always has time for anyone but her own flesh and blood. How long did it take for her to move on from her previous victim to this one? Or is she double timing two men at the same time? See which one is more suitable for her? Maybe more than two? Who knows. 

A hundred red roses. Big ones at that. Goeun wondered how much it cost. It easily exceeds a hundred American dollars. They could buy weeks worth of groceries with that kind of money. If the secret admirer can afford these flowers, he definitely can afford supporting them. 

_ A new father. _

Hana Song is still young. Still beautiful enough. She knows how to work her charms. There is no shortage of men in this world. Hana Song can simply take her pick. 

Goeun knows, if given the chance, Hana Song will never pick them. 

They are only in the way of her perfect happy ending. 

Goeun takes out a rose. She stares at it for a moment before her other hand rips the bloom off the stem. She did the same to the second one, the third, the fourth… Goeun grab hold of a handful of them. She twists them, bends them, grip them so hard until she hears them snap. Thorns pierce her skin and Goeun doesn’t care. Goeun drops them to the floor. It’s still not enough. She raises her foot and stomps on them. She wanted these roses broken. Destroyed. 

_ Why should Hana Song get her happy ending? Why should they be the ones to pay the sacrifices? What kind of world rewards a woman who chose a man over her children?  _

Goeun heads to the kitchen and opens the drawers. She rummaged for a bit before she found what she’s looking for. A cutter. She heads back to the living room. There are still three more vases full of flowers waiting for her. 

Goeun starts to slash at the roses. If she screams, she will wake her sisters. They cannot see her like this. Yuna and Mina only ever know her gentle smiles, gentle hands,  _ the best big sister ever. _ The mother Hana Song never was. They don’t know her as anything else. Goeun mustn't let them see the creature underneath. Made of hunger and rage and  _ ugly, ugly, ugly. _

Yuna and Mina must never witness her acting like Mother.

Hana Song wanted to be swept off her feet. She wanted to be pampered. She wanted romance and riches and none of the responsibilities. She had given up nothing. 

Except for her own daughters. 

_ Do you think I will let you get your fairytale ending, Mother? Do you think I will let you walk over us? You think I won’t sacrifice you? You have made me your enemy. And you will have no one to blame but yourself.  _

If Goeun can’t have a future, neither will Hana Song. Yuna and Mina will be free of this wretched family one day, Goeun will make sure of that. But Hana will never be free of her. Goeun is a loyal daughter. The eldest daughter. Eldest daughters stay with their mothers. Mothers need their eldest daughters. Motherhood is the one thing Hana abhors the most. Motherhood is the first thing Hana taught Goeun. Motherhood will be their end. 

No husbands or lovers or fathers. 

How glorious. Motherhood. 

By the time she comes to her senses, Goeun has made a mess of the living room. Broken petals and leaves are everywhere. There is a puddle of water on the floor. She must have knocked a vase over at some point. 

A spot of white grabbed her attention. So caught up in her rage, Goeun missed the card that must have slipped between the roses. She picks it up and turns it over. 

_ Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My love for you grows every single day. Let these roses be your comfort till the day we are reunited.  _

Goeun rolls her eyes. It took her only seconds to rip the card to pieces. 

She had her fun. Now is the time to clean up the mess of her own making. 

_ (She doesn’t feel better.) _

* * *

In her eagerness to rid the Rose Monstrosities once and for all, Goeun overestimated herself. She threw everything in two separate trash bags so she doesn’t need to take multiple trips. Even the vases. She wanted no evidence of the secret admirer in their home. It wasn’t until Goeun began pulling did she realize what a Herculean task this will be. She all but dragged the trash bags behind her to the garbage disposals. 

Thankfully none of the neighbors saw her. They will surely be wondering what she is doing out here at such late hours. 

Goeun almost buckled underneath the weight when she lifted the trash bag. Almost. The sound of trash hitting the bottom of the bin never sounds sweeter. She has an easier time with the second bag. 

Now that the trash is properly disposed of, it’s time for Goeun to head back home. It’s a cold evening tonight. Thankfully Goeun is wearing a sweater. It’s pink, of course. 

The moon is up tonight. The moon was up yesterday as well. Yesterday was…

No.  _ No. _ It won’t do to think of The Boy when earlier Goeun had denounced her own mother for being involved with a man. It will be hypocritical of her. The Boy, real or not, is beyond her reach. Just like the moon. 

He exists. Goeun should be satisfied with that. Though she will not deny how nice it will be if she is to get another glimpse of him. Goeun can see him in her dreams and memories. Him and the music. 

_ No. _ She must snap out of it. There is no point in further torturing herself like this. Her heart cannot take anymore breaking. The Boy will not- cannot- be the one to break her for good. There is no more room left in her heart. Her sisters had taken up most of it. The twins are her priority. 

Once she walks past the playground Goeun will reach her house in no time. Just a little bit more…

Goeun hears someone cough. 

She turned around.

And what does she see? 

_ It’s The Boy.  _

Strawberry blonde hair. Sharp jaw. Broad shoulders. It’s him. It’s really him.

Goeun’s treacherous heart begins to race. 

The Boy lowered his arm, as if he had just been… doing something, and turned to face her fully. He looked just as surprised as she is. He blinked once. Twice. Goeun did the same. It was just like this last time. Is this a hallucination? Or simply a dream? Or just Goeun’s wishing that made her see the things that wants to see? 

The Boy stared at her. His eyes as gentle as they were before. Goeun feels her knees getting weak. 

The corners of his lips turn upwards, “Hi.”

Goeun smiles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jangjorim: soy braised beef
> 
> On the next chapter we will see how Jimmy's day had been. Especially with the Helmet issue.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same day, different POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: English is not my first language, typos
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Weak Hero or Sense8

The student council of Yooson High is appropriately afraid of him. Good. Jimmy has no patience to deal with another troublemaker anytime soon. He would hate to put too many members of the student council out of commission. They went through a lot of trouble to get first years to fill key positions in the student council. Unlike Helmet, those chumps are much more useful. Harder to replace. The student council nodded along and made all the right noises when Jimmy briefed them earlier that day at school. They are quick on the uptake. As long as they do their job properly, Jimmy won’t touch even a single hair. 

One of his followers reported to him during lunch break. Helmet didn’t show up at school today as well. Jimmy had expected it, but it annoyed him all the same. Still, everything has been progressing smoothly so fad. It’s been awhile since Jimmy felt this calm. Now that the headaches have stopped, his overall mood improved. 

The Girl has something to do with it. Jimmy knows it. A mystery for him to mull on a later date. There are more pressing issues for him to deal with in the present. 

Jimmy gave everyone the rundown of the last Assembly before he dispatched them to look for Helmet. That was hours ago. It grates him that he has to waste this much effort and time to look for one bastard, but what else could he do about it? There is simply no way he will contact Forrest Lee and ask about Helmet’s whereabouts. His pride won’t allow it. In the end, Helmet is a Yoosun student and that makes him Jimmy’s responsibility. This is him cleaning up his own mess. 

Jimmy and Jack wait for the boys at the warehouse. It was abandoned for who knows how long. The short distance from Yoosun High makes it a convenient base. It already turned dark outside. Jimmy taps a finger on the armchair impatiently. He has better things to do than dealing with Helmet. Yet he can’t put this off any longer.

Eventually, the boys return to the base with a ruffled looking Helmet in tow. He takes one look at Jimmy and the colour drains from his face. 

“Where did you find him?” Jimmy asks. 

The henchman who has his grip on Helmet is the one who answered, “Near the Yeungdeungpo roundabout. But then he tried to run away.”

Ah, so that’s why it took them this long. 

Jimmy sneers, “It’s been awhile, Helmet.”

One of the boys shoved Helmet to the center. The traitor looks about nervously as everyone circles him. 

“What? You’re not going to greet me back? I missed you, you know.” All bull, of course. Everyone here knows how much Helmet had pissed off Jimmy. 

Helmet had his hands behind his back while he looked down at his feet. Jimmy can see the dark stains on his armpits. The sight made him roll his eyes in disgust. 

“I heard that you’ve been busy lately. First Yeo-il, and then Hyeongshin? Have you already forgotten about your pals here in Yoosun? I’m hurt, Helmet,” The chair creaks as Jimmy leans forward. “But since I’m a reasonable guy, I’ll hear you out. An explanation is not too much to ask now, wouldn’t it?” 

It won’t change anything, but Jimmy is giving Helmet one last chance to own up to his mistake. He can’t quite see his expression because the damn baseball cap is in the way, but Jimmy notices Helmet has begun to tremble. 

“No? You got nothing to say? Cat got your tongue? Didn’t you sing like a bird to Donald Na? You were also so cooperative with Hyeongshin.” When Helmet still remains silent, Jimmy decides to push a different button. “By the way, did you finish the homework I gave you? You simply disappeared after that. We never hear how that turned out.”

Helmet quake even more at the reminder. Hmm. So the pale shrimp scares him more than Jimmy?

“Hellooo? Anyone in there?” Jimmy stands up to his feet. Helmet still didn’t raise his head even when Jimmy stopped in front of him. Jimmy slaps away his baseball cap. Helmet look up in surprise. Jimmy’s fist made contact with the side of his skull the moment he did. Helmet fell to his side. Jimmy looms over his fallen figure.  _ “I asked you a question, you fuckhead.”  _

“Ugh…” Helmet makes a move to get up but Jimmy stops him by kicking him in the stomach. 

“Are you not ashamed of yourself, Helmet? Begging for scraps from the other guys but the moment you are at a disadvantage you flee with tails between your legs.” Jimmy grabbed the front of his shirt, forcing Helmet to look up. “You didn’t even have the grace to do it quietly. You just had to tattle to Donald Na. Do you really think that will impress anyone? On top of that, you can’t even defeat one guy.” 

The thing is, Jimmy wouldn’t be this angry had Helmet did as he was told. If Helmet properly fought the twig and still lost, then there’s where his limits lie and it will be Jimmy’s own fault for overestimating Helmet in the first place. Yet as long as Helmet obeyed him, Jimmy won’t be this cross. Instead he chose to disobey Jimmy in the worst way possible. 

“Hyeonshin have no more use of you. Who are you going to latch on next? Ganghak? Dahyeon? Are you going to tattle on them to Donald if they don’t give you candy?  _ Who the fuck do you think you are?! _ ”

Helmet is barely able to squeeze his eyes shut when Jimmy punches him for the second time. He just went limp in Jimmy’s grip. Jimmy clicked his tongue in disgust.  _ This  _ is the number one of his class? Jimmy had expected him to at least try to defend himself. And here he thought nothing about Helmet could surprise him anymore...

“You thought just because you’re the strongest in your class it makes you a big shot?!”

_ Slap _

“You thought you could turn your back on me and walk away just like that?!”

_ Punch _

“Thanks to you, Yoosun looked like a joke now!”

_ *Crunch* _

Jimmy hit Helmet square on the nose. The bastard groaned in pain, holding his now bleeding nose.

_ “Ugh!”  _ Jimmy shakes his hand to flick the blood off. What a waste of time this has been. Helmet couldn’t even answer his questions. So not only is he a turncloak and a snitch, he is a coward to boot. Jimmy had worked too hard to allow someone like Helmet to smear his reputation. Now Jimmy must work twice as hard to restore it. He  _ earned _ the leader position of Yoosun fair and square. Helmet actually thought he could piggyback on his success without doing anything? And left just like that when things don’t go the way he wanted? Forrest Lee at least has the grace of being consistent. Helmet reminds him more like a leech. A parasite. 

Jimmy is already disgusted at Helmet from the start, but to see him kneeling on the floor, looking so pitiful, made his ire grow. 

“Yo, Helmet,” Jimmy grabbed Helmet by the hair, forcing him to look at him. “I heard they call you a demon after you beat up a kid with a chair… Where did all that fire go? You are usually more feisty than this. You had all of us fooled, man.”

Bullets of sweat run down from Helmet’s forehead. Still the asshole refuses to speak. Out of fear or misplaced pride, Jimmy doesn’t know. Nor does he care much for it. He had let  _ this  _ join his group? What a colossal mistake that had been. Which makes his next decision all the more important. Jimmy must show to the rest of the group that there are consequences in going against him. Jimmy Bae does not play around. Snitches get stitches. 

“Congratulations, Helmet,” His smile is uncharacteristically bright. Even more so considering the situation. “You are officially a free man now. Thank you for everything you’ve done so far. We had fun together, didn’t we? Here’s my last gift to you. I hope you’ll remember this for the rest of your pathetic life,” Jimmy raises his fist.

For the first time since this confrontation started, Helmet speaks, “No! Please wait! I’m sorry!” 

_ “Too. Late.” _

And he swung his fist down. 

* * *

“Throw him in a dumpster somewhere. Trash belongs with trash.”

“Yessir.” 

* * *

His hands ached from the beating he delivered to Helmet. It’s a good ache though. Jimmy did something right today. 

Everyone already left earlier. Jack Kang had stayed behind for a bit so they could discuss their next moves before Jimmy sent him home as well. Now he is all by his lonesome at the base. Once he finishes smoking this one cigarette he will head back. 

This is good. A clean cut with Helmet. The student council and his group are brought up to speed. His position as the leader of Yoosun remains firm. He must not lose this momentum. The sooner he can get away from Dahyeon’s control, the better. Jake Ji can say all he wants, but the one who has all the authority is Donald Na. As much as Jimmy loathes to bring that snake even more profit, he must put a show of goodwill to get everyone off his back. It’s not like Donald Na established the Union in one day anyway. 

Patience has never been Jimmy’s strongest virtue, but he can work on it. What other choice does he have?

Now that he has free time in his hands (and no headaches to get in the way), Jimmy’s mind turns to the other thorn-on-his-side.

Fucking Eunjang.

Everything went downhill the second Jimmy decided to launch an attack at that fucking place. Phillip Kim is at fault too for goading Jimmy but it is ultimately Jimmy’s own rash decision that led them into this mess. 

No amount of firepower will compensate if the opponents are too good. Forrest Lee deployed three times the number of the guys Jimmy had brought to crush Eunjang. Jimmy grudgingly acknowledged that It was smart of him to use the divide-and-conquer strategy to pick members of Ben’s group off one by one. Unfortunately for Forrest Lee, it didn’t work out like he hoped for. Ben Park and Gerard Jin were able to defeat everyone despite being outnumbered. Alex Go and White Mamba weren’t alone when they were attacked. Hyeongshin’s failure shows that quantity doesn’t always translate to quality. 

Ben Park, Gerard Jin and Alex Go have proven themselves as credible threats. It is White Mamba that surprises Jimmy the most. He had not been what Jimmy expected at all. The rumours had been hard to believe at first. Stabbing people with pencils? Belts? Trash can?  _ Fucking soda?  _ Yet the results don’t lie. White Mamba  _ does _ have some hands in him. His henchmen told Jimmy in more details after their failed attack on Eunjang. That newcomer became even more famous after Eunjang defeated Hyeongshin. From there, Jimmy gathered that White Mamba is  _ smart _ . He has to be, if he wants to fight against the power types. Jimmy has seen him. White Mamba won’t last in a prolonged fight. His skinny body won’t be able to handle it. It’s safe to say that Ben Park and White Mamba are a team. Jimmy must not count the pale shrimp out the next time Yoosun confronts Eunjang. 

This is turning out to be a race against time. To remove Donald Na from his position. To defeat Ben Park and by extension Eunjang. To beat the other schools in taking over Yeongdeungpo. 

Jimmy must either improve or add more strong fighters into Yoosun’s ranks. It’s not like they lack talent in Yoosun… There’s Steve Nam, the number one in his class. He isn’t spineless like Helmet. But it will be meaningless if Jimmy can’t control them. Every single decision from this point on will have lasting consequences. Jimmy cannot afford to make another bad call. 

He takes another inhale of the cigarette to calm himself. 

Today went exactly as he had planned. Yoosun is under his control. Helmet is taken care of. No hallucinations… 

It doesn’t add up. No amount of painkillers Jimmy took was able to make the headaches go away. The hallucinations, while he can’t draw a pattern from it, are consistent. He can’t even remember the last time he went to a pub, so the possibility of someone spiking his drink is basically nill. No memory losses or blackouts. The more Jimmy thinks about it, the more he can’t wrap his head around it. 

Last night was by far the most vivid experience he had. Any hallucination before that couldn’t hold a candle. All five of his senses were affected. His headache simply vanished when he laid his eyes on The Girl. She made him feel all sorts of things. It wasn’t… awful. If he had to be completely honest with himself, Jimmy did enjoy their time together. Cheesy as it was. He wouldn’t be against meeting The Girl again. Whenever that may be. 

She might be the key to solve this whole mystery. 

_ ‘I should have asked her for her name,’  _ Jimmy thought. Instead he just stood there like an idiot. The Girl is such a babe, yes, but it’s not an excuse. He is Jimmy fucking Bae. He is the top dog of Yoosun. He went up against Donald Na once. Asking for a girl’s name should be a piece of cake compared to that. Next time will be different. 

_ ‘Hey, girl. No. That won’t do. Hey there, beautiful? Now I sound like I’m flirting with her. You’re in my head? That’s... Not inaccurate but bad. I could do better. I’ve been wondering if I will see you again. Yeah. That sounds better. Let’s go with that. Then I can introduce myself and ask for her-‘ _

Jimmy blinks.

The scenery changes from the dark warehouse to a darkened street. The Girl stood right below a street lamp. The light fell on top of her like a halo.

Jimmy chokes on his cigarette. He managed to disguise it as a cough. The Girl turns to face him just in time when he throws the cigarette bud away. Her eyes widened at the sight of him. The expression she wore gives him pause. Jimmy has tormented enough people- is cynical enough- to recognize the signs. 

Anger crept up on him like tides rising against a cliff. Slow but no less forgiving. It’s odd, to care for someone you know absolutely nothing about. 

“Hi,” Jimmy greets her. All his carefully thought lines slip away like smoke when their eyes meet. 

The broken look disappears and in its place is a smile so luminous Jimmy almost squinted. 

“Hello,” The Girl greets him back. She’s smiling. It was the same smile she wore last night. Soft and bright and fragile. It’s still better than hooded eyes and hunched shoulders. “Is this a dream..?” A note of hope carries in her voice. A timbre of desperation too. 

“Nope. I’m real,” Jimmy replies. “And you? You’re not a ghost, are you?” He doesn’t think so. Not really. The Girl looked too alive for that. It doesn’t hurt to double check though. Whatever this is better not be  _ The Sixth Sense  _ territory. Jimmy prefers his troubles to be tangible. Punchable. 

“No,” The Girl started to walk towards him. Not a trace of worry or fear in sight. She was like this last night too.

_ ‘She’s brave,’  _ Jimmy thinks, pleased. He likes his girl to be brave- Okay. He will not deal with that right now. Not when The Girl is coming closer- 

“I’m Jimmy Bae,” He says before even more troublesome thoughts cross his mind. 

“My name is Goeun On.”

_ Goeun _

Jimmy didn’t realize that he had uttered her name out loud until he saw The Girl- Gouen- blush. 

Goeun motioned to the space between them. “This isn’t normal, isn’t it?”

“No,” Jimmy agrees readily. “Weird things happened to you too?”

“For the past month, yes.”

_ Huh _

“Let’s sit down,” Jimmy offers. He looked around the warehouse. There’s his armchair and the empty oil drum that he uses as a footstool. “You can have the chair.” Jimmy sits on the drum before Goeun can demure.

The scenery changes to the park once more. Goeun is standing at the entrance. She looks around (Jimmy looks as well) and her eyes fell on a bench. When she took her seat, the bench turned to the armchair. They are back in the warehouse. 

“Okay,” Jimmy licks his dry lips. Put his hands on his knees. Try to ignore his racing heart. “I woke up in the middle of the night to see a stranger standing next to my bed. It was too dark. Couldn’t see exactly what they looked like. Then they just disappeared. That was a month or so ago.”

Goeun pales, “That happened to me too. I ran straight to my sisters’ bedroom after that.  _ They’re five. _ ”

A shot of worry goes through him.  _ Kids.  _ Say what you want about him, but Jimmy doesn’t go after little kids. 

“They’re okay,” Goeun assures him. “Nothing happened to them. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing like… Us.”

Jimmy nods. “So  _ whatever _ that was showed up in our homes and strange things began to happen. I saw things that shouldn’t be there. Heard things I couldn’t explain. Feel things… You get the idea.”

Goeun looks relieved and resigned at the same time. “I do. I don’t smoke but sometimes I taste nicotine in my mouth.”

“I smoke,” Jimmy tells her. “I was never fond of sweets to begin with, so it was odd for me when I found myself craving them.”

“That’s me,” Goeun placed a hand on her chest. “I don’t get a lot of opportunities to eat sweets so…”

This is good. They might actually be able to solve this. 

Goeun continues. “I hear the sound of motorcycles sometimes. Like one is right next to me? Too close for comfort. My family doesn’t own a motorcycle. I was inside when I first heard it.”

“Me. I own one.”  _ What the actual fuck. _ They get feedback on whatever the other person is doing at the moment? “I got splashed by cold water in the middle of the street but there weren't any buildings nearby. I was perfectly dry.”

“Oh. That’s me again. I like to take cold showers after a long day.”

The easy admission made him blink. Wait, she was naked at the time? Jimmy quickly looks away before his imagination acts up. “What about-“ He scrambled for another instance. “The sewing machine. I keep hearing them at night. Was that you too?”

“Yes,” Goeun answers softly. Shoulders lowered to make herself look small. Eyes looking at her hands. “I do my sewing and patching before bed. I didn’t mean to keep you up.” She says in a placating tone. 

“...I know,” Jimmy often stayed up late even before this entire thing happened. He doesn’t have much room to talk. Something about Goeun’s movement makes him lean forward. His tone matches hers to show her that he is not offended. “I kept playing music late at night myself. Let’s call it even.”

Her body language changes in a heartbeat. It would be fascinating to watch if it didn’t tip Jimmy off. Goeun smiles wider, oblivious of the gears turning in his head. “So it had been you all along.”

Jimmy smiles back. Because he doesn’t want her to make her feel conscious. Because he wanted to. “I thought I was losing my mind.”

To think that they’ve been connected this entire time. It’s less scary now. When you know you are not the only one. That the other person is just as lost as you are. 

Then Jimmy remembers. “Did you feel any pain two weeks ago?”

It wasn’t precisely fourteen days. But two weeks have passed since Jimmy fought Ben Park. Only a fellow monster could go toe to toe with another monster. Jimmy looks at the girl in the pink sweater seated in front of him. What if Goeun had felt every single one of Ben Park’s punches. If Jimmy had unknowingly put her through that much pain... He could never forgive himself. 

Goeun looked thoughtful for a moment. “...No? Ah, but I felt discomfort on my hands and wrists,” Then she shook her hand in the same exact manner as Jimmy’s. Interesting.

“My fault,” Jimmy admits. “I got into a fistfight about two weeks ago.” He waits for a flicker of disgust or judgement. It never came. She simply nods. “The alarm at 4 am in the morning? Was that you too?” 

“Yes, I have to get up early to cook breakfast and prepare my sisters for the day.” 

_ ‘Okay, those are good reasons to wake up at four in the morning,’  _ Jimmy internally acknowledged. It’s not her fault that Jimmy will be woken up as well. She didn’t know. Neither of them knew.  __

“What about…” Jimmy stops. If they can share sensory experiences, then it is not impossible that they would share emotions as well. He thought back of the time he cried for no reason. The night when he broke a glass. Strong emotions seized him on both occasions. They are not his, he knows that now. But it is highly unlikely that Jimmy will forget them anytime soon. 

The hatred he felt that day was nothing like the grudge he bore against Donald Na and Ben Park. It was like a pair of hands wrapped themselves around his throat and began to squeeze. It was like being forced to eat rotten food and then be thankful for it. Completely different from the blazing hatred Jimmy is familiar with. The rage that belongs to Goeun is more like a caged beast. Trapped behind bars, unable to go anywhere, to struggle will not achieve anything. But the beast remembers. A beast is still a beast. A tamed one is still dangerous. It wants blood.  _ It wants to kill. _

And there's sadness. A sorrow so great it looks like a maw about to devour someone whole. Just remembering it makes his heart clench painfully. Jimmy never felt anything like it before. He hoped he never would. Those tears weren’t his own. It was Goeun’s. And that bring him no small amount of horror.

“Jimmy?” Goeun calls out to him softly.

Jimmy looked at her again. The pastel pink of her sweater makes her look out of place. Her black hair frames her face delicately. The skin he imagined would be soft to the touch cover so many, many things.  _ Who hurt you?  _ The question is at the tip of his tongue but Jimmy couldn’t bring himself to ask. 

“Jimmy,” Goeun calls him for the second time. “You have that look again.”

He blinks. “What look?”

“Exhaustion,” says Goeun. “You had it when I saw you last night. At the bridge. You look exhausted today as well.” She paused. Jimmy can see her hesitating. Then Goeun opens her mouth again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Does he? That’s an excellent question. Jack Kang... understands. It used to be enough for Jimmy, until he found himself wanting more. And now a girl he barely knows is offering him an ear. Goeun may not understand, in the end, but she wants to listen to what he has to say. Jimmy had been denied so much. He will not deny himself this. 

“There is something I wanted,” Jimmy told her. “I wanted it so badly. I even bloodied my hands for it.” Jimmy raises his hand to illustrate his point, palm open. “Yet no matter how much I tried... No matter how much I put up with... I can’t get my hands on it.” He closes his palm. “It gets tiring.”

_ He was envious.  _

The realisation hit him like a truck. Jimmy had watched Donald Na give Wolf a place in the Union without having to prove himself first. Jake Ji can cruise along without lifting a finger and everyone let him. Myles Joo got everyone’s acknowledgement even though he is pretty much a ghost at this point. Ben Park lost to Donald Na. Jimmy lost to that fucker too. Yet the treatment they received afterward couldn’t be anymore different. Ben Park has everyone’s respect while Jimmy only got sneered at. Why? How come the others have it easier than him? How much more does he have to prove to those people? Why is it only him?

_ “Oh”  _ It is not much of a response but it conveys a  _ lot _ . The look on Goeun’s face tells Jimmy that yes, she  _ does _ understand. 

Which makes her next words even more sad.

“I keep losing things,” She sounds older when she speaks. “Some of them were taken from me. Some, I have to give up even though I don’t want to. I keep giving because it’s the only thing I ever know. I don’t know how much more I could withstand before I break completely.” Goeun gazes at him for a moment before cracking a smile. “What a pair we make.”

It’s not the same. Jimmy understands anyways. They have someone now. The one person that understands. Someone who knows what it feels like because they lived through it. It’s unfair. Precisely because of the unfairness of it, it’s comforting. A cold comfort, but Jimmy will take what he can get. 

But what does Goeun want? Or need? 

He must have been staring, because Goeun looked to the side, pink dusting her cheeks. Or maybe she is embarrassed of her words from earlier? Her hand reached upward to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. His hand itches for some reason.

_ Wait… _

_ Can they actually touch each other? _

Should Jimmy just go for it? Goeun is  _ right there _ . He just needs to reach out and poke her. She wouldn’t mind, right? She already let him stand so close to her last night. No. Jimmy must ask for permission first. This is a lady. Not a two-bit-no-name-random shithead on the street. It won’t do if Jimmy doesn’t treat her accordingly. Their minds are connected for heaven’s sake. The last thing Jimmy needed is to get cursed.  _ Or worse.  _ He looked down on his hands. Damnit. They’re still dirty with Helmet’s blood. Jimmy can’t touch her with these unclean hands. He doesn’t want Goeun to catch Helmet’s germs. He will save it for their next meeting.

In the meantime...

“I had fun last night,” Jimmy said those words to test the waters. To see where they are standing. It does not mean he lied.

Goeun perks up. “Me too.”

Warmth sparks inside his chest. “Let’s do it again sometimes.”

Goeun’s eyes widen in delight. “...I’d like that.”

Next on his To Do List; download the entire Queen goddamned discography. 

The sky is dark and it is cold in the warehouse. His hands ache from regret and restraint. Yet Jimmy can’t stop smiling. 

Goeun smiles back. 

(Somewhere, the sound of a car engine goes off. Both Jimmy and Goeun look over their shoulder in alarm. When Jimmy looks at the armchair again, he finds it to be empty. The disappointment is not as bad as he initially imagined. That’s because he is all fluttery inside and he wants to imagine that Goeun feels the same as well.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be busy for the rest of the month. This may be my last update for the year. I, for one, can't wait for 2021 to come.


	6. Chapter 6

The twins tried every trick they knew. They pretend to sleep. They took their time eating breakfast, chewing slowly and taking small sips in intervals. Mina pretended that she needed to go to the bathroom but in actuality she hid their shoes. They should have hid her purse. Or better yet, her phone. 

They will get better, Goeun knows. She has plenty of tricks under her belt. Mina and Yuna will learn those eventually.

“Do we have  _ toooo _ ??” Yuna whines, pulling at her hand.

“Yes,” Goeun sees no point in lying about this. “I know it’s not fun but it’s for your own good.”

Mina looked up to the building in front of them with no small amount of fear. “I don’t like getting shots.”

Goeun squeezed her hand in reassurance. “I don’t like it either. No one likes getting shots.”

It is a routine health checkup. Even when things were difficult last year, Goeun still brought the twins to Malkeun Hospital to get their vaccinations. She even has a chart in her room as a reminder. Her own history serves as a guideline. It’s almost embarrassing how often Goeun has them stand on the weigh scale. Mother did the same when she was their age. It’s different though. Mother would punish her regardless of the number. Goeun will never do the same to the twins. It soothes something in her, to know that all that she suffered as a child is not in vain. Goeun is responsible for two lives. Two heartbeats over her own. She cannot afford to make a mistake.  _ This is what parenthood is like. _

Goeun crouches in front of the twins. “Tell you what. We’ll have our lunch at McDonalds today. You can get the toys.”

It felt like a cheap trick, to bribe them like this, but Goeun must reward them somehow. Besides, the twins are old enough to know to not put small objects in their mouth. The twins perk up at the promise of toys.

Yuna’s eyes are calculating. “And ice cream?” 

“Sure,” Goeun stood back up, knowing that she got them now. “McDonalds, toys and ice cream.” The girls are probably bored eating homemade food. McDonalds is cheap. And who is Goeun to refuse them ice cream when her sisters have been _so_ _good?_

Mina calms down at the promise of ice cream. Neither of them protest when Goeun takes them inside. It’s all pretty standard from there. Go to the pediatrics wing. Sign the twins up for consultation and vaccination at the register. Sit at the waiting area. Watch the twins go play at the children’s corner. The bright wallpapers, colourful toys and books are enough to momentarily distract them from what is about to come. 

Most of the other guardians waiting with her are mothers. They are all either preoccupied with their phones or their children to pay attention to her. Good. Goeun hates it when they look at her and wonder _ ‘where is their mother?’  _

_ I don’t know.  _

That’s the problem. Mother comes and goes as she pleases. Goeun has no idea where she is right now or when she will come back. Her eldest daughter is right there,  _ right here _ , so it falls to her to pick up the slack.  _ How convenient.  _

Maybe strangers in this room think of her as the twins’ mother. She just looked  _ young _ . It is easier to swallow than teenage girls getting pregnant out of wedlock, when they are little more than children themselves. People believe what they want to believe. There are days when Goeun thinks of the twins as her kids instead of sisters.

(The thought sickens her each time.)

Someone screamed. A child. Yuna and Mina glance at the closed door nervously. A few moments later said door swing opens and a mother marches out with her red faced son in her arms. Goeun is impressed with his lung capacity as he continues to wail. Yuna and Mina watch as the pair head down to the elevators. 

“Yuna and Mina Heo,” The nurse stationed behind the register called out. “The doctor will see you now.” 

Her sisters look like they are about to bolt when Goeun comes over to the children’s corner to collect them. “Come here,” Goeun crouched down in front of them and pulled them into a hug. “This won’t be the first time you get an injection. It’s only a prick. It will be over before you know it.” 

Mina pouts, “It will still hurt.” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“Can you make it not painful?”

Sometimes the faith the twins have in her  _ hurts _ . A belief that can only be found in childhood innocence. How she envies them for it. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Goeun shakes her head. She is not the superwoman Yuna and Mina believe her to be. Even she has her limits. “I can’t.” 

* * *

Mina buries her face in her neck. Goeun rub circles on her back in hope it will calm her down. Yuna is standing next to her, holding onto her pant leg since she can’t take her hand. The twins are still small enough that Goeun can carry them both at the same time, but her hands would be full. Her life has always been one balancing act after another. She will not drop her sister. 

Yuna pushed the button. The elevator doors slide open. Two figures are already inside. One is seated in a wheelchair and the other stood behind it. Goeun met the gaze of the one seated. Brown eyes. She looks away and pushes Yuna inside before stepping in. Goeun settled next to the elevator panel. The button to the ground floor is already lit. 

The doors close. 

And Yuna, curious-silly-happy-five-years-old, opens her mouth, “What happened to your leg?” 

_ “Yuna.”  _

The young man flashes her a smile to show her that no harm is done. He briefly looked down on the leg cast before his eyes came back up again. “I got hurt.” 

Mina stops crying and turns her head around. “Did they stick big needles into your leg?” 

He shakes his head. The shade of his hair reminds Goeun of sunsets. “They did give me some shots but no. This happened because I was careless.” 

Mina is quiet for a moment before she looks at the young man. “I hope you get better soon.” 

The smile on the man’s face looks less forced upon hearing Mina’s words. 

The telltale  _ ding _ noise alerted everyone inside. Goeun pressed the open button and held.

“Thank you,” The young man smiles at her as his companion wheeled him out. 

“Good luck,” Goeun mutters under her breath.

Though she doubted the young man heard it. 

* * *

They stopped by McDonalds as Goeun had promised. The twins cheered up after they ordered soft serve ice cream. Goeun ate her first french fries in years with considerable satisfaction. 

As soon as they got home the twins hurried to open their Happy Meal toys. Goeun leaves them to it. She has chores to finish. The ironing must be completed today no matter what. 

_ Press, slide, smooth, fold. _ It is a series of movements Goeun is so familiar with she can do it almost automatically now. Enough for her to let her mind wonder. But lose her focus too much and Goeun will risk leaving an ugly brown triangle on the cloth. She likes her clothes to be clean and wrinkle free, thank you very much. 

Everything must be perfect.  _ Beautiful _ . This world demands nothing less.

_ (God, everyone always demands something from her.) _

Not for the first time, Goeun wonders when the situation will take a turn for the worse. It always happens in the end. Goeun has seen it happen from time to time again. She is powerless every time. No, that’s not quite right. She is not exactly helpless. She is still here, isn’t she? Though it doesn’t change the fact that most of her actions up until now are her reacting to whatever life (or Mother) throws at her. 

The idea to ask someone for help did occur to her. Multiple times. Goeun never acted on it. To ask for help would mean letting the outside world know the true nature of their household. Yuna and Mina will get hurt no matter what the outcome will be. Goeun cannot afford to slip up. Cannot let anyone in. 

_ “I had fun last night.” _

And now life has thrown her yet another curve ball. 

She had met The Boy again a few days ago. Goeun will never admit it anytime soon (not that she has someone to talk to) but she can’t help but feel relieved when she saw that strawberry blonde mop. The sight of him is enough to dull the ache in her heart. For a moment there she actually forgot about the Rose Monstrosity. Their talk was productive, to say the least. He told her his name; Jimmy Bae. 

The moment he told her his name made everything more real. 

Not that it was never real in the first place, but now Goeun can’t pretend that it never happened. The meeting is not a one time thing. She knows, in the deepest part of her heart, that it won’t be the last time either. Jimmy Bae is part of her life now. 

It doesn’t mean that Goeun will let him in that easily. She had seen the blood on his hands. That is more than enough to tell her that Jimmy is not a nice person. There is a huge difference between  _ nice _ and  _ good _ . Goeun is  _ good _ in the sense that she obeys. She doesn’t get in the way. Some would argue that she is  _ nice _ because she makes life easier for other people. They are wrong. Goeun is neither  _ nice _ or  _ good _ . She is more than that. She never was. 

Jimmy has the benefit of being a male. They are allowed to be upfront.  _ To be visible.  _ One does not get that much blood in their hands unless they wanted it in the first place. Jimmy wanted to  _ hurt _ whoever it was his opponent at that time. Everyone has the capacity to hurt and that’s why Goeun must not let her guard down. It is a lesson she knows perfectly well and needs no more demonstration. Goeun must take care of herself. She must be cautious. Even if it’s the boy she is interested in. Even if said boy is interested in her in return. Goeun has seen the intensity in his stare. Those eyes held more than just curiosity. It was enough to make her look away. 

Even knowing that didn’t stop her to respond to Jimmy's truth with a truth of her own. It had felt… good. To be able to confide in someone. Jimmy tried to make her comfortable. Offered her the armchair, made inquiries about her health and kept his tone level the whole time. The care made her lightheaded. 

Just like during their previous meeting, warmth bloomed in her chest in their short time together. There is something else too. Goeun can’t quite put her finger on it. It’s not quite happiness. All she knows is that she wants to press the feeling on a cloth, run her fingers through whatever pattern it leaves behind and slip it over her skin.. She never experienced it around anyone else before. Maybe it’s another side effect of this telepathy thing between her and Jimmy. 

For better or worse, she has someone now. 

She has yet to see or hear from Jimmy again since that night. Goeun is not too concerned. What matters is that she doesn’t forget herself. The men in her life always leave. Without question. Why would this one be any different? 

Oh, well. Better enjoy her time with Jimmy while it lasts. 

Goeun flicked the switch on the iron handle. It took some time but she finally finished with ironing. Now to bring them upstairs so she can put them in their proper place. 

Goeun turns around to unplug the cable from its socket… Only to find someone sitting at the corner. 

She blinks and the scenery changes. 

A second ago she was in the laundry room. The next she is in a hospital room. 

It is a red headed boy, but not  _ her _ red headed boy.

The boy is sitting up on the bed. He looked up from his phone. Goeun holds her breath. She watched as his eyes widened as he took her appearance in, followed by his mouth forming a smile.

“We met earlier today in the elevator, didn’t we?” He set down his phone.

Goeun doesn’t smile back, “My sister asked about your leg.”

The boy chuckles, “Kids.”

_ “What is happening?” _

The tone she uses made him look, really  _ look _ at her. Something like comprehension dawns on his face. “You’re new.”

Goeun narrows her eyes, “...what?”

“I should introduce myself first,” The boy placed his hand over his chest. “My name is Kenny Ji. You and I are sensates.”

“Sensates?” Goeun tested the word.

“Yes,” Kenny nods. “Can you tell me yours?”

“...Goeun On.”

Kenny nods. “Tell me. Have you been experiencing migraines lately? See or hear things you couldn’t explain? Maybe even transported to places you have never been before?”

She had this exact discussion with Jimmy the other day. “Yes. To all the questions you asked me.”

“Did you meet anyone else before me? Like this?” He gestures to himself and then to the room. 

She and Kenny are not in the same room physically. Goeun knows that from her meetings with Jimmy. Not to mention, Kenny’s leg is in a cast. He can’t touch her. Can’t touch her sisters. “I did…”

But she and Jimmy never actually met before. She never bumped into him like she did earlier with Kenny at the hospital. Why? 

“It must have been confusing. Believe me, _ I know _ . I was as baffled as you are right now when it first started for me too.” Kenny’s eyes shone with sympathy and Goeun softened at that.

“What is  _ it _ ?” 

“This is what sensates are capable of,” Kenny reached for the mug on the tray table with his left hand. Goeun feels warmth permeates through her left hand. She flexes her fingers. Kenny took note of this. “Sensates are a species of humans who are telepathically connected to each other.  _ Homo sensoriums  _ is the scientific term. A sensate establishes links with other sensates through direct eye contact. Through this link we can share thoughts, feelings, memories.” Kenny wraps both hands around the mug. The warmth spread all over her palms. Goeun could even feel the smooth surface of the mug. “You are able to feel the heat from this mug because _ I _ feel it. Because our minds are connected.” 

Goeun thinks of Jimmy. Of the stranger that showed up in her bedroom that fateful night. Nicotine on her tongue. Guitar strums in the middle of the night.  _ Sun-warmth under her skin.  _ “But I… I never met...” 

“How many people have you met so far?” Kenny’s tone is patient.

“Two,” Goeun answers. “The first time… It was in the middle of the night. It was too dark. Whoever they are, I can’t make them out.”

“And the second?”

_ Jimmy,  _ Goeun almost says. Yet she didn’t. This is important. She must not give up anything before she knows for sure what she is dealing with. “I met him twice now. Like this but  _ not _ . I never met that person before in my life. Not until… There was no direct eye contact like you say.”

Kenny gives her a look of consideration, “It feels like you are transported to a different location even though you didn’t move a single inch?” 

“Yes,” Goeun takes a deep breath. “Is that a sensate thing as well?”

“We call it visiting. It happens when you want to communicate with other sensates. It’s quite a trip.”

“...Did you just make a pun?” 

Kenny grins in a way that reminds Goeun of Yuna when she is being particularly mischievous. “It never gets boring no matter how many times you do it. As for this second guy, he must be part of your cluster.”

“My… Cluster?” 

“A sensate possesses a dormant connection that must be activated first in order to awake their abilities. We call it ‘rebirth’. This is done by a sensate outside of the cluster, so we call these sensates as the parent of said cluster. I bet the first person you met is your cluster parent.” The word ‘parent’ made her stomach feel queasy but Goeun ignores it. “Now, a cluster is a group of sensates with innate links to each other. They do not need to meet in order to create connection. Members of a cluster are born on the same day at the same moment. You took your first breath together.”

Goeun holds her breath. Kenny’s words keep repeating in her mind. Her connection with Jimmy is not a coincidence. They are stitched together in a way that Goeun can only describe as  _ intimate _ .

Kenny continues, unaware of the myriad of feelings inside her. “No sensate is born without a cluster. My cluster has six members in total. Maybe your cluster will only have two. Maybe more. You will meet all of them eventually. Sensates are everywhere. Most of the time members of a cluster do not live in the same country. We are spread across the globe.” He pauses, “You haven’t received any more visits from your cluster parent?”

Wordlessly, Goeun shakes her head. 

“Usually it is the cluster’s parent who show them the ropes. Maybe…” Kenny trails off. Goeun can see hesitation written all over him.  _ He suspects something.  _

“...Maybe the connection got severed?” Goeun offers. Her meetings with Jimmy had been cut short before either of them could say goodbye.

“No, not like that. It doesn’t work that way. Sensate connections are not like phone numbers. You can’t delete it. Once a link is established, it stays. For good. Even if your sensate parent is dead, there will be an echo of them. They… remain.”

Well, isn’t that convenient? So where is her sensate parent? Are they still alive? Or are they just like any other adults? Abandon their children? “What, like a ghost?” 

“You’re not… wrong. Then again, I only ever heard of it. I had the fortune to never suffer a death in my cluster. My sensate parent is still alive. They say you will have visions of the dead sensates you were once connected with. Flashes of memory. The slightest of presence.” Kenny makes a vague gesture with his arm. Then he smiles in a way that means to be comforting. “Don’t worry. You will learn about your sensate parent sooner or later. I’ll ask around for you.” 

“You would do that?” Goeun is not used to receiving help. It feel queer. “How?”

“Connected minds, remember?” Kenny taps his forehead. “That said, you need someone to show you the ropes. I can teach you, and you can teach your cluster in turn. There is so much to learn. You will meet more sensates in the future. I’d rather avoid having anyone take advantage of your ignorance.”

“Why?”  _ Why so helpful?  _

“Because we are still people in the end, and people are messy.” He takes a brief glance at his leg. “You are so new at this that you are practically a baby in my eye. And I’ve been taught to look after those younger than me.” 

_ “Oh,”  _ Realisation hits her. Goeun can see it now. The sense of responsibility that settles like a weight on his shoulders. The way he wears patience as if it was tailored for him. The knowing look. Kenny is an older sibling like her. 

“Thank you,” Goeun says. There is no reason for her to refuse this hand. Not when she  _ does _ need the help. Not when it is offered freely. Goeun doesn’t make a habit of wasting resources, especially when they are free. Or maybe not. For Kenny is still a stranger to her. Albeit a kind one. Goeun must be careful with this one as well. 

Goeun fought down the urge to rub her arm. Kenny must not know how nervous she is right now. “So the connections cannot be erased? I will be linked to you forever? Same goes with my cluster?”

“I’m afraid so.” 

Just when she accepted the reality that Jimmy would leave...

Goeun wills herself to look into Kenny’s eyes. “What if I don’t want to talk with anyone?” She wonders if Kenny can hear the fear in her voice. 

Kenny doesn’t blink at her question. “See, it’s like a door. You can open and close it. The others can knock but it is up to you if you want to receive them. It is your choice to let them in or shut them out. Keep in mind that you can’t lock the door… Or put up a wall. Since your rebirth is only until recently, you won’t be able to control your visiting. Expect people popping in and out at random. The same goes for you as well,” He smiles. His expression he wears looks like he is reminiscing. “I will not lie to you. It won’t be easy. The adjustment period could be rough. But it will be all worth it in the end.” 

“..how so?” She hated how small she sounds. Like a clueless child. Like Mother just scolded her. Yet Goeun can’t take her eyes away.  _ This is important,  _ something in her whispers _. Pay attention.  _

Kenny speaks softly, as if he is offering a prayer, sacred words that must be used sparsely. “You are no longer just you. Sensate’s very nature is that they are never alone. You are part of something bigger now. Your cluster is your team. Your family just got bigger.” 

Goeun closes her eyes, and remembers a red headed boy singing Queen on the top of his lung, all bright and kinetic. 

She opens them the same time a nurse enters the hospital room. The nurse doesn’t see her. She simply walked past her.

Kenny shoots her a smile while the nurse replaces the IV bag, “If you want to talk again, I’ll be here.” 

She blinks and Kenny disappears along with the hospital room. 

Goeun is alone once more. 

She doesn’t know how long she stood there, staring at the empty space, until Yuna called for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kenny Ji has entered the chat.


	7. Chapter 7

Jimmy likes to think that he is used to pain by now. Years of fighting means you develop pain resistance. 

He’s wrong.

Jimmy woke up this morning with his entire body sore. Neck, shoulder, back, abdomen, calves, feet. His chest itches but at the same time not. Phantom pain dug into his ribcage. It feels like he just walked away from a particularly grueling fight. Even getting out of bed is a challenge. Jimmy entertained the idea to skip school but decided against it. His loss to Ben Park didn’t stop him from coming to school, what’s a little bit of pain? 

‘A little bit of pain’ won’t make him want to cry though. 

Each movement he makes sap his strength away. He had to fully concentrate or else he would lose his balance. And he is riding a motorcycle to boot. Getting into a crash is not how he wants to start his day. Nor does he want to be immortalised by a newspaper article that read  _ HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT DIED IN A TRAFFIC ACCIDENT.  _ Such a stupid way to die. 

Jimmy already feels tired by the time he makes it to school. Students moved out of the way when they spotted him. Despite the pain, Jimmy put some swagger in his step as if he owned the place. In a sense, he is. More importantly, Jimmy must not show weakness at school. There is still a chance that some idiot will decide to try his luck to take him down. 

All chatter dies when Jimmy opens the door to his classroom. Everyone scrambles to their seats. No one dared to look at him in the eye. Good. Jimmy likes his class nice and quiet. Sometimes he shakes things up a bit to remind these losers of the rules. He hadn’t done that lately. Maybe after Jimmy feels better.

His seat is the furthest back while Jack is right in the middle. Jack had taken one look at him and his eyes droops a little, which in Jack language means  _ are you okay? _

Jimmy let out a sigh at that, which is all the confirmation he needed. 

He barely pays attention to the teachers. Jimmy mostly tunes them out. What he wouldn’t give to take a nap right now. At least he won’t need to deal with the nausea. Yeah, he feels like throwing up at the moment. Fucking great. Everything hurts. Everything annoys him. Everything makes him want to cry. If only he could punch these feelings away… If only things are that easy. 

Near lunch break, Jimmy finds it difficult to breathe. It’s not the sense of suffocation when one submerges underwater or lungs burning for air after heavy workout. Instead it’s more like an invisible constrict tightened around his chest. It pressed hard against his sternum. It is not so dire that Jimmy thinks he might have a heart attack (maybe he does need to lay off the cigarettes for a bit) but it is cause for concern. 

Jimmy is miserable, and it shows. It was bad enough that Jack bought him a bottle of water. Their other classmates fled on the first bell ring, leaving the classroom all to themselves. 

“The headaches started again?” He asks. Most people usually hear the coolness in his voice and think he couldn’t care less. Most people are morons. 

“Yeah,” Jimmy uncaps the lid. “It’s different from last time.”

He doesn’t even fib. This one is not the same. The headache he experienced prior to meeting Goeun On was skull-splitting kind of pain at its worst, enough to make his vision blur. The one he’s having right now is more dulled, more spread out.

The cool water slides down his throat to his esophagus. Jimmy feels better already. 

“Are you sure?” It’s so unlike Jack to question him, but that means he is truly worried. Jimmy can’t blame him. Migraines that took a month to go away are not normal. 

“Yeah,” Jimmy put the cap back on. “I found out the cause for the first one.”

_ My brain somehow got connected with a girl I never met before. I thought all those hallucinations are all in my head but they are actually experiences this other person going through in real life time. That girl’s name is Goeun and she literally lives in my head. Oh, and I find her cute. _

Yes, telling Jack that would go  _ so _ well. 

“I’ll live,” He says instead. 

Jack nodded and asked no more questions. 

* * *

Helmet did not show up at school today. Jimmy listens to the reports, face carefully blank. It’s one thing to show anger or annoyance. It’s another matter to show weakness in front of his gang. Jimmy has a reputation to uphold after all. 

“He’s going to drop out,” Jimmy says. When everyone except Jack looks at each other, he continues. “He disobeyed my orders. He tattled to Donald Na. Nothing he does now will make Hyeongshin accept him. Wolf Keum would sooner kill him than let him work for Ganghak. Not that Helmet has the guts to get anywhere near him anyways. So he’s pretty much excommunicated from the Union. Even if he comes to school and tries to reestablish himself as the number one in his class, no one is going to take him seriously.”

Jimmy may have punished Helmet in the past whenever he made a mistake, but he never double crossed him. He would protect him from the likes of Wolf Keum even. That’s what leaders do. Helmet betrayed him first. 

Treachery is the one thing Jimmy loathes the most in this world. More than weakness or fear.

He doesn’t trust people easily. In fact, he trusts the people in this room as far as he can throw them. Except for Jack, of course. He had seen Jimmy at his angriest, at his lowest, at his worst. Whatever happens to him (or with him), Jimmy trusts Jack to not run in the opposite direction. 

Jimmy inhales sharply when the constrict around his chest alleviates, seemingly lifted. He resist the urge to touch his sore ribs. 

His goons stiffen in fear, mistaking his inhale as a sign of displeasure. Jack frowns. Never a good sign. 

“Either way, Helmet is a lost cause,” Jimmy tries to keep his voice level. He has this feeling that if he raises his voice now, he won’t stop until he is blue in the face. The pain is killing him. “We have better things to worry about. Tell me about the quota.”

It’s all standard stuff from there. Jimmy dismisses everyone after they finish their report. Jack stays where he is. Jimmy can feel his eyes on him without needing to look at his friend. Jack is not the nagging type, fortunately. He is very good at expressing himself without actually saying it, unfortunately. 

“I’m fine,” He says around the same time his pectoral muscles begin to itch. He doesn’t need to turn to see Jack is unconvinced. 

If this pain get worse, Jimmy think he might actually murder someone by the end of the day. 

* * *

It does get worse.

The pain travelled to his crotch. 

It’s only sheer willpower that stopped Jimmy from limping. 

* * *

His parents aren’t home, which relieves Jimmy because he will snap at them in his current state and it will lead to an argument he is not equipped for at the moment. He all but dragged his feet to reach his bedroom. All Jimmy wanted to do now is sleep until next week. 

That’s the plan anyways. Until Jimmy’s back hits the mattress and the room shifts.

It’s a bedroom he is familiar with.

Jimmy turns his head and sees Goeun swivel her chair around so she can face him. “Jimmy,” She looks at him in wonder. Jimmy can’t blame her. This will take a while to get used to. The sight of Goeun does cheer him up a bit. 

He meant to greet her back but something else came out instead. “Everything hurts.” His balls especially. “I think I’m dying.”

“You’re not dying, Jimmy,” Goeun speaks in a tone one would use when dealing with a toddler. “I’m having my period.”

Jimmy stares at her blankly for a few seconds before it clicks in his mind. He knows what period is. Science textbooks and the internet give him the general idea. Advertisement of sanitary pads on TV only ever shows blue liquid seeping into the pads. What they never tell him is that periods are  _ awful _ . 

“What.” 

“You know, when the womb shed its old linings if the eggs did not get fertilized. It’s perfectly natural.” 

“ _ It’s fucking painful. _ My stomach hurts. My head hurts. My neck hurts. My feet hurts. My back hurts. My chest hurts.”

Goeun gives him a flat stare. “No need to be so dramatic. It’s only pain.”

Under normal circumstances, Jimmy wouldn’t even dream to bring up the subject to a girl he doesn’t know well. But if Goeun is having her period and Jimmy is feeling it, they are way past that point now.  _ “My balls fucking hurts.” _

“It hurts down there when girls have their periods. I guess in your case it will be your… family jewels.”  _ What the actual fuck.  _ Girls actually feel pain down there when they have their periods??? 

_ “Seriously?!”  _ Jimmy half shouts. “And you go through this every single month?!” Goeun nods at that. “How are you so calm about this?! Why am I the only one freaking out?!”

“I’m the one with the actual bleeding, Jimmy,” Goeun says, completely unfazed with his outburst.

Jimmy shuts his mouth. 

If this is what it feels like to have periods, Jimmy will never joke about PMS ever again. 

Another shot of pain stabbed him on the stomach. Jimmy runs a hand over his face and groans. “A whole ass month of migraines, goddamned visions and  _ this _ is what freaked me out the most.” 

“This is only the first day,” Goeun’s tone remain calm. “There are still six more days left.”

This time Jimmy fully shouts.  _ “SIX?!”  _ Unbelievable! “How are you not dead?!” 

“Hardly anyone dies from getting their period, Jimmy. You’ll be fine. It sucks but you’ll get used to it.” She hums. “You’re lucky that your first time is gentle.”

Un-fucking-belieable. 

“You mean it can get worse than this???” Jimmy felt wetness in his eyes. He’s crying now. Fuck.  _ It hurts.  _ He hears a sniffle and looks at Goeun once more. Tears have welled up in her eyes as well. ‘ _ Was that me or you?’ _

The sight of Geoun crying is enough to make him sit up.  _ Don’t cry.  _ Jimmy almost says. Except both of them are already crying.  _ Everything will be okay.  _ Only they have no idea what else this connection has in store for them and that scares him.  _ Stop that.  _ Those words will only make him look like an ass. And Jimmy doesn’t want Goeun to think any less of him. To make it worse, Goeun is utterly silent the entire time. No sob or hiccups. Meanwhile all Jimmy wants to do is to scream. Scream in pain. Scream at the world. Scream at his past self. Does Goeun want to scream? Jimmy can’t help but wonder. If she felt his urge to scream, well, she  _ could _ . 

But she didn’t. 

Jimmy felt the familiar lodge in his throat - like a collar fitted too tight - and he knew it was her because he would never hold back like that. He just know it. Either Goeun doesn’t know how to scream or she is used to swallowing her tongue. Jimmy thinks both are equally bad. 

When it’s clear that the tears won’t stop anytime soon, Goeun turns away from him. Her chair creaked at her sudden movement.

For a split second there, Jimmy thinks she will slip away.  _ Again. _

“I’m here,” Jimmy finally settles, for the lack of ideas of what to say. In the end, all he can offer to her is his presence, if not words. 

That did the trick. Goeun spun her chair around so she could look at him again. Jimmy knows that he makes an odd sight. A boy sitting on her bed crying. Similarly, the sight of a girl crying in his bedroom makes him feel agitated. 

Jimmy is not great at comforting, but he knows a thing or two about sticking around. 

Goeun gave him a watery smile, “We’re ridiculous,” She wiped her eyes with her sleeves. Jimmy uses the back of his hand to wipe his. 

It wasn’t until both of them feel calmer did he open his mouth again. “At least tell me what I should expect,” Jimmy refuses to go through the rest of the week blind. What if he is in the middle of something important and the pain hits him from nowhere? “I know you did something. My chest felt like it's been tied up. It felt like that for hours. Then all of the sudden it disappeared. What did you do?”

Goeun turns pink at the question. She turned her face away from Jimmy. “I took off my bra.”

Jimmy stares at her again. Isn’t the whole point of bras is to support the breasts? Not suffocating you? His eyes trail down to her torso. Goeun is wearing a grey baggy sweater this time. Not the usual pink. It’s impossible to tell if she’s wearing a bra or not. But… If she’s not wearing one right now… Then that would mean…

He tore his gaze away. “Is it-” Jimmy licks his lips. “Is it supposed to be so… restrictive?” Oh, God. What is he even saying? Someone please shoot him now. 

“No,” Jimmy hears Goeun say. “A properly fitted bra won’t make it painful for you to breath. I… Don’t own any.” 

Jimmy blurts out the question before he can’t stop himself “Why?” Why go around with a vice grip around your chest? It’s nothing but torture. Why go through all that trouble? He dares to look at Goeun again. 

She resolutely looked at her homework. “I can’t find my size.” 

Jimmy feels his face getting hotter after hearing her admission. All of the sudden he has this urge to see what Goeun looks like without her sweater. 

“Sometimes the pain travels to the jaw,” Goeun picked up her pencil. What? Oh, right. Periods. “It depends on the person really. One person can feel nauseous to the point of puking while others just feel sick. It also… Affect bowel movements.” 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake- What is the point of periods then???” 

“It tells the person with the womb that they’re not pregnant.” 

What a messy way to tell someone that they are not knocked up. “Is there any way to stop the pain?!”

“There’s the short term solution and the long term solution.” Goeun folded her arms over the table and rested her head on top of them, though she looked at him. “Short term is to have chamomile tea or ibuprofen. I ran out of both. Long term, I got knocked up. No periods for the next 9 months. Once time is up I have a bundle of joy and the cycle starts again.” 

Jimmy lay down on his side so he didn't have to turn his head to look at Goeun. “That sucks,” He says with feeling.

“It is what it is,” Goeun replied with calm acceptance. “I don’t think you should be worried. Last month when we had headaches… I had my period around that time and you never said anything about pain of any other kind. I didn’t feel any pain when you got into a fistfight the other day. So this is more random than anything.”

She’s not wrong. Their coming and going had been entirely by chance. A few minutes tops. Doesn’t make it any less confusing. Jimmy wondered if he would have the same reaction if Goeun had been a boy. No, most likely not. Jimmy would view her as a possible threat in the beginning.

They are not friends. Not in a traditional sense anyway. But they are not enemies either. They shared tears and pain. Jimmy had seen enough to know that he doesn’t want them to be enemies. So what are they then?

Jimmy can’t wait to find out.

Goeun had taken interest in his bedroom. Jimmy watches her look around, taking in everything. He is glad that he didn’t leave socks or other unmentionables lying around. This is not his first to be in Goeun’s bedroom, but Jimmy didn’t have the chance to look around last time. The furniture was made from light coloured wood. The walls are painted white. The curtains are half drawn, their colour soft pink. A teddy bear sits near Jimmy’s head. On the opposite end of the study desk is a sewing table. From his current position, Jimmy can see the sewing machine and a pile of fabric next to it. 

Maybe it’s his prejudice speaking but Jimmy had Goeun’s bedroom to be more… pink. That, and more stuffed animals. Goeun has a good taste though, Jimmy acknowledges. 

The pain has subsided too, which improves his mood by leaps and bounds. 

“Hey, Goeun.” She looks at him. Jimmy opens his mouth to ask his next question.

_ Where do you live? _

Or, at least that’s what he is about to say when the door swings open. 

A pair of girls who couldn’t be older than five stand on the doorway. 

“Unnie!”

Jimmy holds his breath and waits. The little girls don’t look at his direction and instead focus on Goeun entirely. 

“Unnie!” One of them leaned her whole weight against Goeun’s leg. Jimmy felt warmth spread on his leg. Human warmth. “We can’t get Elsa out of her dress.” The other one holds up a doll Jimmy recognized to be Elsa from Frozen.

Goeun takes the doll from her sister and begins to fiddle with the doll’s dress. Jimmy looks on as the little girls watch her with rapt attention. Tiny hands fisted around the grey sweater. Something about the scene makes him feel conscious. It is one of simple love, of easy trust and unflinching devotion.

Goeun loves her sisters to bits. It is plain as day. The tender way she looks at her sisters as she hands the doll back is enough to cause his heart to squeeze. And her sisters return that adoration. 

The twins don't see him-  _ can’t see him.  _ Jimmy stays still anyways. When they pulled away from Goeun, he felt the weight lifted off his lap. If Jimmy can feel whatever Goeun touches… What will touching her feel like? His fingers twitch at the thought.

It wasn't until the twins left the room did he move. 

“They look so much like you. Your sisters.” It’s easy to imagine Goeun at that age. With young age comes innocence. Or ignorance, if one wants to be cynical. How old was she when she first learned to be afraid? How old was he when he had his trust shattered for the first time? 

“I love them,” Goeun whispers. She sounds almost scared. It was a simple thing to admit. Why does she say it like it is an earth shattering secret? 

Jimmy is an only child. The closest thing he got to a brother is Jack Kang. He wouldn’t fully understand it even if Goeun gave him a PowerPoint presentation. It’s not the same. It doesn’t make it any less important.

Those two girls are Goeun’s most precious people.

Anyone who  _ dares _ to bother them frankly deserves to get punched. 

They sat there in silence. Eyes dry and stomach laced with pain. The red-orange of the sunset bleed into the room. (From his window, Jimmy thinks.) Goeun’s spine is straight to the point of rigidity. She has her breath held. She doesn’t look fragile. Just a little lost. 

Jimmy knows what it feels like to be at a loss. 

“Goeun,” He doesn’t reach his hand out to her. There are other ways to reach out to someone. “We’ll figure this out.”

He never did hear Goeun’s reply to that. She was gone in a blink of an eye. Just like the last two times. Like a shooting star. Like smoke in the wind. Jimmy wonders why they always part ways at the worst timing possible. 

But the look Goeun gave him was enough. Barely enough. More than enough. 

She had looked at him in a way that she might as well have taken his hand and held on tight.

If there is one thing Jimmy is good at, besides punching people, is not letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy finally met Goeun's sisters! ...sort of

**Author's Note:**

> This story started out completely self indulgent on my part. I was intimidated by the lack of content in this fandom. Then out of curiosity I checked wattpad and AO3. Io and behold there are Weak Hero fanfics. So here's mine. 
> 
> Jimmy Bae is one of my favourite characters from the webcomic Weak Hero. We still don't know a lot of him so please forgive me if Jimmy's portrayal in this story is different from his canon self. I am still trying to get a feel on this guy.
> 
> To those who don't know the series Sense8; it is an original series by Netflix about a group of people whose minds are linked to each other. Chaos ensues. 
> 
> The links below are the character aesthetic boards I've created for this story:  
> https://i.pinimg.com/564x/53/6a/17/536a17516ff62bfebdc8090e61776ca8.jpg  
> https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7d/4c/1f/7d4c1f64c50b648fb7164c907a4f7581.jpg
> 
> Thank you for reading
> 
> Please leave a comment
> 
> NO FLAME PLEASE


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